Vesta & Black Moon Lilith on a 9-Month Journey: Service & The Shadow Feminine

Vesta refers to the archetype of the Priest/ess or Facilitator.

Black Moon Lilith / Mean Apogee refers to one layer of the experience of the Shadow Feminine.

The Shadow Feminine refers to aspects of Feminine experience that have been oppressed, betrayed, defiled, projected upon, overlooked, ignored, abused, and generally rendered as ‘dark, unfavourable, evil or negative’.

A lot of you may not know that I started my journey by exploring these themes and archetypes. Look on this website and do a Google search if you’re interested in some of my writings. 

Eventually, I stopped talking about it as mentioning the Shadow drew too many people who were unwilling to listen and observe, preferring instead to fill it with their expectations and projections. That’s not the Goddess, that’s just using her as a projection screen.

Shadow, in its essence, is not a bad thing. It merely means that it is a space that the light of awareness has yet to look upon and acknowledge. Sometimes a thing needs the cover of night to rest, germinate or remain unseen. And sometimes it’s being hidden to mask a more nefarious purpose.

You can’t generalize it or tarnish it with the same brush that equates light with white with good and black with shadow with evil.

The False Light is a testament to the fact that not all that glitters is gold. Much harm has been committed with the rhetoric of purity, enlightenment (and civilizing the ‘ natives ‘ )

When someone is working with aspects of the Shadow Feminine at a metaphysical and esoteric level – it pays to pay attention to the fact that not all that is Dark is Sacred either. Sometimes you find some real bat-shit-level-crazy, especially when you mess about with ancient forces, deities, and ritual practices.

Unfortunately, shadow-work is big business, especially when it’s presented in a spicy, exotic, mysterious, old-world flavour …. So seekers sometimes get pulled into working with energies which perhaps are best left alone.

These themes come up powerfully as Black Moon Lilith and Vesta prepare to enter Earth signs for a 9-month journey.

This journey will make all of us question what is the appropriate path of service, renunciation, devotion, embodiment, and balance especially when it comes to the question of resources, abundance, land, indigenous causes, preservation of the environment, the monetary system, and the healing of the womb.

Black Moon Lilith enters Taurus at 8:50 am on October 21.

Vesta enters Virgo at 7:34 am UT on October 22.

Black Moon Lilith leaves Taurus at 8:29 am UT on July 18, 2021.

Vesta leaves Virgo at 6:26 am UT on July 19, 2021.

Typically, these two don’t move together in this particular way. It’s happening because Vesta will have a retrograde in Virgo between January 19 – April 20, 2021.

Vesta and Black Moon Lilith make a trine to one another (within a 7-degree orb) between:

October 15-29 (in Leo/Aries, then Virgo/Taurus)

February 25-March 8, 2021 (in Virgo/Taurus)

July 12-25, 2021 (in Virgo/Taurus, then Libra/Gemini)

These are critical periods to consider the opportunities and potential obstacles Vesta and Black Moon Lilith bring to us in tandem.

While this write-up is here to present some aspects of this interaction, do view the video.

That’s where you feel the energy and difference of both. You know that my work is not theoretical but relies on the observation of direct experience.

Throughout this phase, Vesta will push us to find a path of service, dedication, or devotion. Some may choose to throw everything else away in favour of a particular path or philosophy. Others may feel the pressure and escape it altogether.

Ideally, I hope we will all find that right balance between service and living a life here on this earth-plane. That comes from an understanding that you do not need to hollow yourself out to be a vessel of spirit, but that you are one already. The more you inhabit your body and choose to live a better life by being a better person, the more you are already doing what you came to do.

Each one of us can aspire to this in our ways. It doesn’t even need to involve anything identified as ‘religious’ or ‘spiritual.’ You don’t need to bleed away and sacrifice your joy to do it.

You can choose a path of service that is sustainable because the collective does not evolve when one of its own has to bear the cost for many others. That’s the same Piscean BS karmic programs still playing their hand – till you tell them to stop and choose to walk differently.

Maybe you might start a reading library for neighbourhood kids.

Maybe you might start an initiative to keep public spaces clean.

Maybe you might cook for and deliver meals to the homeless and families struggling to pay rent.

Maybe you create a carpooling initiative for your workplace.

Maybe you ensure that all your staff members undergo workplace training on unconscious biases based on race, sex, sexual orientation, gender, and so on.

Maybe you support a petition for indigenous water and land protectors seeking to keep big corporations off their ancestral lands and burial grounds – maybe you go and stand in solidarity.

Maybe you start growing your vegetables and eating healthier – perhaps you do this as part of co-operative efforts empowering marginalized communities.

Whatever you do, do something meaningful, practical, and sustainable. Do something that you can manage and do so consistently instead of burning out with grandiose ideas that ask one person to bear more than they ever should.

It’s also an excellent phase to slow down and think about our everyday lives, how space is arranged, how clutter accumulates, how things need to be repaired, how eating organic (if you can afford it) is a better long-term choice, and so on. Probiotics are generally an excellent way to help the body defend and support itself physically and energetically.

Some of you may also want to look into feng shui or its equivalent in understanding the effect of energy in your home and office spaces and how you can best arrange things to keep it moving smoothly. Remember that mold and water damage carry their own energies can can affect health.

We’re at a very liminal time in which the magnetic poles can flip (hence up is down, north is south) – don’t take anything as gospel and try different things out. It doesn’t matter if something comes from an old source of knowledge – context and transformation matter!

Remember that if you live in the Southern hemisphere, things operate differently. Take that into account as well.

An influential background factor that comes through with Virgo is Thereus, the Hunter-Stalker, preparing to enter the sign on October 31. Including a retrograde into and out of Leo in 2021, it’s a five-year transit! So doing this practical work actually has a larger purpose: protection and keeping those predatory vibrations out!

Give yourself space to become aware of all these things and get to fixing them up, one day at a time, one step at a time.

Now, in comes Black Moon Lilith. With this alignment, Vesta is challenged to keep her balance. Maybe she’ll want to go and charge into and fight for the rights of those whose bodies and livelihoods, lands, and cultures are seen as unimportant to mining companies, big pharma, commercial farmers, and so on.

Maybe she’ll have a nervous breakdown thinking about just how many problems there are in the world and how she can’t fix them all … or worse, contributes to them through a non-recognition of privilege. And maybe she’ll lose her sense of the here and now running too far into one pole or the other.

Vesta can be a powerfully motivated crusader for the marginalized if she sees it as a sacred duty. Still, she can’t afford to lose sight of her sanity, safety, and autonomy.

Black Moon Lilith has her strengths and issues as well.

Sometimes the fact one is marginalized inspires them to dig deeper into the roots of that trauma to find spaces that heal and help them find their agency, purpose, and meaning. Sometimes they rise and inspire others to do the same and break the chain.

Sometimes they recognize where others like them need a helping hand, need greater acknowledgement of what is oppressing them – and do so. Black Moon Lilith can show you those spaces of neglect, betrayal, and harm that the Feminine has endured.

Other times people look at that trauma and do not work through it or address it somehow. They make a nest for themselves in the archetype of the victim.

Either the situation continues to worsen, or one day they make their trauma the justification or basis for attacking another and step across the victim-abuser divide.

Just because someone is black, indigenous, female, queer, trans, nonbinary, etc. does not mean that they are automatically martyrs or saints.

Suffering does not grant you a halo of moral authority and purity.

I’ve certainly seen what that raw, unprocessed anger looks like – and it’s toxic. It’s an energy that got poisoned by old evils and old acts of conquest and hate carried through timelines. Unless you heal it, that poison will continue to exist in ways that conflate trauma with culture.

In Taurus, the questions that trigger Black Moon Lillith tend to come up around land, agriculture, resource allocation, abundance, fulfilling necessities, simple joys in life, tactile and sensual pleasures, and the expression of beauty, and so on.

These are all areas in which healing and transmutation must ensue, lest we use pain as a weapon and keep a deadly cycle of abuse going. One can fight for the right cause from a place of hurt or love (or both). But it’s usually better to find that space of re-connection within before going out there to create the change you seek for yourself and others. And that is why support from communities and others going through the same thing can be so critical.

We don’t live in a time where the status quo is kind or sympathetic to the victims of systemic abuse as they react to further discrimination and disempowerment. So its’ important to make sure you have people who will watch your back as you do for them.

I’m not surprised when I come across African-American clients who want to return to Africa or South America to start local agro-communes. It fits in with the times. Get together, organize, and find a connection with the land in a way that works for you. Find people who are on the same wavelength as you.

Remember to support businesses, initiatives, collective efforts (in sustainable ways) that address these very causes where you can. If you’re not called to, that’s fine, but at least be open to understanding why they are needed.

The energy of a handout is very different from a gift that is freely given or one that is earned or one that represents an investment into the future. Be very, very clear with energy boundaries in the giving or taking of resources. It’s best not to look for freebies, especially from people who are already doing too much.

Invest in the future. Support young families, schools, and places meant to create a sense of safety in the young as the seeds you sow now shape the future. But do so with their best interests at heart rather than what you think they need to be.

Invest in community organizations and service providers. People doing this work often do not get paid well and need support. It’s powerful work and it helps not to have to worry whether you have enough to pay the rent and feed your kids.

Encourage artists and visionaries to create images, artifacts, songs, music that inspire all those striving to make the world a better place – especially for those least well off. Yes, it’s valid to point the finger at large companies for much of the systemic inequalities in wealth and the pollution of the environment – but that’s not enough. Change takes more than an accusation.

Support indigenous communities who are seeking to re-assert their rights over their territory. And question yourself or anyone you see using indigenous land, traditions, myths to do their own thing without permission.

Know that spiritual colonialism is a thing. I see the same missionary vibe that thought it could strip away people from their land and their people in the name of civilization still present in much of the New Age circuit.

Don’t be a hero and try to fight everyone’s battle for them. We’re all in this together, but remember that some issues need to be spoken by those who are hit the hardest by them. Co-opting the voice of the marginalized because you want to be seen as a great crusader is another blow …

Moreover, in some cases, things done in the name of service can actually stop a person from growing and learning their lessons. Whilst there is a caveat surrounding nurturing a child / furbaby, etc. you should never be held responsible for another person’s life, karma, growth and energy in general terms. Each individual must be held responsible for their actions, but know that you cannot take responsibility for the sum total of the way a person has experienced life.

For there are some people who will deliberately seek out your service, play the guilt-trip card and seek to stay a victim – knowing that you may go out on a limb to help them. Be selective in who you help for not everyone sees that act as sacred, but rather a resource to tap.

Remember that there are wolves in sheep’s clothing. Service born of guilt or shame never really works in the long run.

Try out permaculture. If you want to heal your relationship with the Feminine, there is no better way than to respect the Earth you stand on and find ways to co-exist with all aspects of this magnificent Creation. It works a lot better than doing meditations and sending thoughts and prayers.

Because the key is to get real, be practical, and manifest in the here and now.

If you’re thirsty, you don’t wear essential oils or get a gemstone or chant something or meditation.

You get a glass of water and drink. And we forget how privileged we are in being able to do so.

Keep it real and keep it grounded. 

So these are just some ideas for you to consider.

The next nine months are going to be an extraordinary cycle of gestation for the planet. Who knows what seeds will be set? 

The key is to know when to engage, whom, how, and why – and whether it’s sustainable. There’s no point in you trying to save the world when you abandon your own well being and can’t manage your day to day living.

Esoteric practitioners, you’ll want to check this out. I remember there was almost nothing available when I wrote this piece from a few years ago. Still stands up to scrutiny.

Remember that there’s a lot of glamour about, be it in the Light or the Shadow:

Much Love,

Dr Bairavee

The Sky Priestess


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TERMS OF USE AND SHARING: This post and text are original research material and are copyrighted. You are allowed to share this material for personal, non-commercial, and educational use with the proper citations, references, and links/tags back to my website / Instagram / Youtube. Clicking ‘Share’ or ‘Reblog’ would be most appropriate. I take no responsibility for the context or ownership over materials on external sites. Please obtain my permission first if you want to use this material on your workshop, blog, organization, webpage, book, seminar, or for any commercial purpose. All information provided, be it through sessions conducted or this post, is non-liable and is not intended to replace professional legal, medical, psychological, psychiatric, or financial counsel. How you choose to act on this information is up to your own free will and is entirely your responsibility.

© Bairavee Balasubramaniam, 2020. All rights reserved.

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