It is curious how strongly we hold onto our deepest wounds. How they make us, shape us, break us – to the extent we allow them power over our lives. At once, we seek to transcend – emerging as the caterpillar from the chrysalis, the butterfly that makes it break from the cocoon. And in the same breath, a painful longing, a visceral yearning to go back into the past and mend the shattering of hopes, of love, of emotion. The irrational idea that somehow being better than you were Now, fixing whatever needed fixing in the present, could somehow magically alter the past.

Perhaps it does, in a parallel world .. but that is a different story. The past can never be altered, let’s get that straight – but its hold upon us, its impact upon our evolution, perception of life and path – going forwards – can be shifted.

Is it wrong to love, to attach to such powerful, life-shaping experiences? Is it wrong to want to turn back the clock and reinvent the Self?

No. It just means you’re human. It means you’re alive, and there is a part of you that greatly hopes, yearns and dreams for something different. It means there is a part of you that is unhealed – perhaps you understand it as a sense of ‘incompleteness’, or a dream that was unfulfilled.

That never goes away, it is never erased – but it can stop becoming the dominant theme of your life – with work, with time, and with healing. And perhaps, with the actions in the present, you can heal, and fulfill that which you desire the most. Albeit in a healthier way than the last time

To all those – like myself – now processing the deepest of wounds, the most tender of attachments now posing as shards of broken hopes – they are of course two sides of the same coin – the trick is to realize it and hold that paradox in place. Just as every beginning has the seed of the end and every end has the seed of a beginning. One of the many paradoxes that weaves its way through this Journey we call Life.

But what do you do with all that baggage? The refusal or seeming inability to ‘let it go’, even though one part of you is screaming out for it? The conundrum you face when release seems heartbreaking, but then, so too does continuance?

Fret not, for you still feel. You are still alive. Your dreams have not broken, and where there is a dream, there is a hope. A hope that exists even in the finest of dust that dances in the wind. But that Hope is within you. That Love, That Desire, That Yearning is a call only you can fill. Not the actions of another.

Allow yourselves to feel the unthinkable, turn towards the source of that pain and in it you will find a precious gift. A strength you never knew you had. Go into it, and let it teach you what it is that you truly seek through the experience you are re-living at this time. Chances are, it is a representation of something much larger – and one that you, yourself, in the Now can address, heal and acknowledge – as yourself.

For – as a friend of my said recently – all we really have, is Now

Blessings To All – and for all those in a similar situation of processing – I hope this message brings you some comfort, some guidance and some reassurance.

All is Well.

Priestess Bairavee Balasubramaniam, PhD

Image Information: [Partial image] Eros et thanatos.jpg – By Laure joy (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons



The past couple of days I’ve seen spiritual writings saturated with the idea of ‘transforming’ or ‘transcending’ Darkness, and turning it into Light. Whilst I understand the basic idea behind it, I also feel compelled to share my take on it. This understanding is simply a restatement of the Binary/Duality that so much of Spirituality claims to want to transcend. The moment you ascribe normative values such as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ to experiences, and then classify them as ‘light’ and ‘dark’ – and then make narratives about which is better, which needs to be transcended, and which needs to be let go of – you’re still falling into the same trap of Judgment. (If we’re perfectly honest with ourselves — the kind of dissolution and transcendence that spirituality aspires to would require a transcending of ALL categories)

Think about it. At the end of the day, Light and Dark are different aspects of the same Reality. The moment we declare that one is somehow worse, weaker, or in need of ‘transmutation’ into the other, is the moment we officially declare war on a key aspect of our own complexity – and origins…

Now I know the idea that we’re all recycled stardust and beings of Light is true … (and I like that idea too) – but it’s also worth remembering that EVERYTHING came from Darkness.

Yes, we are children of the Supernova, but we are also descendants of a Time in which Light simply did not exist. We emerged out of that Primordial Abyss.

Those of us willing to experience ‘Darkness’ without the categories and narratives of ‘evil’ or ‘dense’ or ‘in need of transmutation’ – eventually come to the understanding that there was in fact, a Sacred, Holy Energy present in Our Collective Primordial Beginning. An energy that accompanies us through our lives, and which we return to in order to experience our most powerful moments of transformation.

Astrologers understand the pull of this energy, and the immense wisdom and cycles of learning it imparts – as expressed our recognition of points such as the Galactic Center (at 27 Sagittarius) and the Super-Galactic Center (at 1 Libra) – these are massive Black Holes which represent the energy of Spiritual Teaching (among other things) … Often, those tight aspects to these points have a strong connection with ‘Source’ (in spiritual parlance).

Spiritualists in shamanic and more ancient traditions also understand the role of the Holy Darkness, expressing this connection through the imagery of the Dark Womb of the Earth. Those who engage with the energies of the Crone, Dark and/or Warrior aspect of the Goddess will know exactly what I’m talking about. That place in which you are first discovered, nurtured, and then able to arise from (and return to, when need be).

One theory for the evolution of Life on this planet points to its origins in the deep hydrothermal vents, beneath the ocean’s floor. A very ‘dark’ place … a more relatable analogy is the how a seed must first be buried before it begins to grow…. Thinking about it… even the womb in which the human fetus gestates is … a familiar, comforting – individualized – expression and engagement with Primordial Darkness.

So no matter which perspective you look at – astrophysics, astrology, evolutionary anthropology, biology,ancient spirituality – and so on — Darkness has had a key role to play in the ‘beginning’ of Life and Existence as we know it.

So.. I’d say it’s not something to avoid – or (possibly worse) to patronize with ideas of ‘transmutation’ and ‘healing’ so it can then become ‘Light’. It is its own vibration – and one that we do not need to (and cannot) ‘light-wash’, lest we erase our own primordial origins in the process.

Darkness and Light do not share the relationship of Opposites as commonly understood – Darkness is not even the ‘absence’ of light – but the photonic saturation of Light Absorbed (thank you one of my commentors for pointing that juicy fact out)

And they really don’t share relationship of soap (Light) and grease (Dark), something which enough soap can ultimately get rid of…. That is exactly the kind of binary/heuristic duality that sprung the trap of Judgment in the first place.

Enjoy the Rainbows, Enjoy the Light – and for those of you in search of Totality … Enjoy the Sacred Darkness and all the Shades of Grey that dance between the two – whilst you’re at it.

Priestess Bairavee Balasubramaniam, PhD

Image: Illustration of a black hole and its surrounding disk.jpg – NASA, public domain


As the veil of illusion dissolves, you become aware of your intrinsic Divinity. You realize that you are not just a part of All-That-Is, but All-That-Is is also, equally, a part of you. You are the Divine and the Divine is you.

Most people have experienced this profound sense of clarity at least once in their lives. We label those who exist in this vibration all of time as Ascended Beings.

We can call this an internal alignment, integration or Awareness-of-Oneness – when it feels as though the turning wheels of the heavens, the vibrations of the Earth, the longings of your Deepest Self all levels of your Awareness rest on one perfect place.

The Universe can not only be seen in a grain of sand, it becomes that grain, and that grain is You.

To me – this inner alignment constitutes what we call ‘living or being in a State of Grace’. It flows just as true for the being who stands up to injustice, or watches over a loved one, a being who smiles at a sunflower or dances with the deep, wild night, a figure in prayer, a figure who rises in protest.

It matters not what form it takes on the outside, or how that form is judged by others – only that it resonates and echoes with you in that most sacred alignment of Self and Cosmos. Grace wears many faces and takes many forms, yet through it all – it vibrates with a particular frequency or energetic signature that is Universal.

You can think of it as a fluid movement or flow of energy through you. Perfectly poised, balanced, effortless. Especially in moments where such balance is deemed impossible, like the stones on this image.

These moments of heightened clarity are ones in which our actions feel somehow destined. There is generally a sense of calmness and detachment, even when engaging in the most dynamic activity. And a profound sense of peace. No Ego, No I, Nothing. Only that which must be done.

~ Priestess Bairavee Balasubramaniam, PhD


I discuss this and other topics on the re-emergence of Balance, specifically through the rising of the Feminine as part of a panel of wise women: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/sacredwomanorganization/2014/10/08/a-heart-to-heart-with-bairavee-balasubramaniam

Image: Stone & Rock Balancing Inuksuk style.jpg – By Peacefulmovements (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons



Recent weeks have really opened up a whole new chapter in my life and my Understanding of Spirit. I began my journey as a Priestess in the Service of the Dark Mother (which – for new readers – has absolutely nothing to do with Evil). I thought that my role was to speak out for the re-institution of the tradition of the Priestess, and the many discriminatory practices that surround so many faith-based practices and texts. I still see that as my role, but the way I interpret it has changed dramatically.

These changes began in Nepal, when I both died and fell in Love with a sacred site to Lord Shiva I found through pure instinct (with no conscious clues of any description). Something in me could no longer exclusively identify with a Female conception of Divinity as somehow superior to the male. Or to ignore that aspect of Spirit. Lord Shiva has always featured in my life some how, but it was that experience that really cemented the indivisibility between the Masculine, the Feminine and my Path.

Recently, another shift has happened. God and Goddess made sense before – and now they don’t – not in the same way they did before. The balance of dual energies seemed like the pinnacle, and now they just seem like one part of many. Deities, and demigods that seemed to be the end-all, now look as though they are intermediate facilitators – or perhaps partial reflections – of a more Transcendental Energy.

I don’t deny their existence or their value in the spiritual path, only that they occupy a different space in my understanding of the Cosmos than they did before. An in some way, that re-framing makes their Presence even more palpable.

Rather than looking for the Divine ‘out there’, my focus has always been within. Despite my academic background, the direction of my spiritual growth has rarely been through the Mind to the Heart, but from the Womb to the Heart to the Mind – in the spirit of a very feminine process of gnosis. So not so much about the abstract concepts or the words or ideologies, but all of this knowing and re-knowing and learning and un-learning has been prompted by whatever spiritual Curriculum my Soul chose to manifest. And for me the guide or pathway to this understanding has been through the Dark Goddess – particularly in her Crone Aspect.

The more I realize, the less I ‘know’. I hope that makes sense. All of this is felt change, change the body and the womb stir me into re-membering, rather than the rationalizing attempts of a mind. But the more I feel, the more logical it seems. And this whole Rational-Emotional divide seems less and less relevant.

Perhaps I’m at the start of what many are calling 5D evolution? Perhaps my consciousness is beginning to understand what lies beyond dualism? Maybe even a glimpse of Reality behind the Veil?

Who knows. I’m just going with the flow. And not letting me get ahead of myself. There’s too much for me to discover for me to assume that I can authoritatively say ‘This Is It’.

So I’ve been thinking about how to define myself and my path – as it is now, and believe you me – it will evolve — And here are the key components of it so to speak:

(1) Authenticity: If it isn’t you, don’t do it, don’t be it. Just be you.
(2) Vulnerability: If it hides you away from your wounds (healing and transcending is a different process), then something’s up – if it gives you a false sense of superiority, invincibility or security – then something’ s definitely up
(3) Integrity & Honesty (Related to Authenticity, but not quite the same thing – you could be an Authentic Jerk… )
(4) Non-permanence and Formlessness: The Universe is a pretty big place. I doubt Divinity looks Human, if it has a shape at all. With so much going on, and Energy shifting the way it does (call it Spirit) — I would somehow be uncomfortable with an idea of a Stable, Eternal, Absolute Truth for a Universe essentially Dancing in Motion as we speak.
(5) (Seeming) Paradox – To see the Formless through Form. To see Spirit through Matter. To work with Energy within the confines of Matter.
(6) Relentless Questioning – The fact my spiritual path survives my constant questioning is a sign that … I’m probably doing what I need to be doing.

Again, these are ideas to be expanded upon. Not quite my priestess manifesto …
And they will evolve. But they’ve moved on to the point where I can safely say:

That I am a Priestess on the Path of Formlessness, as taught to me by the Dark Mother. I love God as I love Goddess: They are two parts of Many that make up the Whole.

You might ask – why still use the ‘Title’ of Priestess – why make that distinction? Truth be told, someday, we will all realize the Divinity within us – and will need no intermediaries or facilitators. Until that day we will still require a label, title or marker to simply describe what we (facilitators) do.

As we collectively shift, we are unearthing so many divisions and distinctions that have kept so many away from a recognition of their Innate Divinity. (And here’s where Paradox enters…) Like the being who has incarnated to dissolve a karmic seed, and must fully express that desire before it can be released – I feel that we must honor, recognize and allow all Forms of Form to flourish, before we release the need for them in their entirety.

Sadly, the Priestess-hood and the right of Woman to hold any Divine status is still challenged today. And the work that I do serves to bring that Form into full realization once more, before it can all be (ultimately) Dissolved. When that day comes (and if I’m still in the cycle or birth-rebirth) I shall no longer use that title to describe my work as it will no longer be required.

But till then …..

This is Priestess Bairavee Balasubramaniam, PhD

Some articles of mine which talk about different aspects of this … Path of Formlessness. Others have of course written and spoken about this in different ways. I can, however, only speak for myself.

The Formless Feminine – The Dark Mother Who Led Me To This Path – Dhumavati-Ma: http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/08/dhum-dhum-dhumavati-the-formless-shakti-of-smoke-detachment-priestess-bairavee-balasubramaniam-phd/

The Divine Does not Discriminate: http://wp.me/p4OUNS-7m
A Wake Up Call from My Brain: http://wp.me/p4OUNS-7u
Detachment and the Illusion of Form: http://wp.me/p4OUNS-5S
Dissolution: Maya Un-Masked – http://wp.me/p4OUNS-6G

Image Information: Ashes in the Wind 1996.jpg – By Richard Rappaport (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

THE PHOENIX RISES; MAGIC IS AT WORK … – Saturn/Vesta septiles Pluto Retrograde, biquintiles Uranus Retrograde along with an Inconjunct-formed 5-pointed Star (and other stuff)

Magic is at work

The energy of the dying-resurrecting energies of the Sacral-Sacred Feminine (i.e. the Phoenix cycle) is currently underway in the skies (see alsohttp://wp.me/p4OUNS-7L)

This energy septiles Pluto Retrograde in Capricorn and biquintiles Uranus Retrograde in Aries. A septile is 1/7th of a circle, i.e. 51 ’26 degrees. When you see a septile aspect, what you’re looking at is a very mystical, transcendental relationship between two astral bodies in the chart. There is a lesson that can be learnt through the act of ‘rising above’ something and seeing things from a detached perspective.

In itself, Pluto represents crisis, transformation and the death-rebirth energy in and of itself. In the sign of Capricorn (which the Sun enters during the Winter Solstice – in the Northern hemisphere), Capricorn esoterically represents the Tomb (Alan Oken). This is the place where the Soul goes to rest, having ‘died’ (it need not be literal), before it awakens once more into the Light of Day.

The idea of ‘resurrection in the tomb’ is also very much linked with the energy of Scorpio – and the deep journey into the Shadow Self/Underworld you take before you emerge out under the open sky once more.

With the septile connecting Pluto Retrograde (the Rx element only intensifies this energy, making it profoundly felt at an internal level) in the Tomb of Capricorn and the energies of Saturn-Vesta (Sacral Wounding, Death and Rebirth) – we get a profound energetic impulse.

It will manifest differently for all, but manifest it will. Some may be feeling the need for rest, others may be ‘out of the tomb’ so to speak – and roaring to go.

This energy feeds both into the Grand Cardinal Cross (with Juno and Pallas) and the remnants of the Grand Sextile. To see how this aspect manifests in your lives, look at which houses Saturn/Vesta at 19 Scorpio and Pluto at 11 Rx are located in your natal chart.

For instance, if Saturn/Vesta is in the 5th, and Pluto in the 7th house, you might find this theme of death-life-rebirth and transcendence activated in matters of romance/children/creativity (5th house) and partnership, balance, your shadow side (7th houses).

The other aspect I mentioned is Saturn/Vesta’s Biquintile in Scorpio to Uranus Retrograde in Aries

The Biquintile is a 144 degree aspect which represents the coming together of two forces to create something new. There is a gift, or talent which comes to light and fruition as two people, entities, or energies interact with one another (Robert Wilkinson). To find out which, again, look to your house placements. For example: If you have Aries in the 10th house and Scorpio in the 5th house, then it’s quite likely you’re looking at the Inner Awakening (Uranus Rx) of the Self (Aries) with respect to its position in Society (10th house). This energy is interacting with a powerful impulse of Resurrecting the Sacral/Sacred Feminine (Saturn/Vesta) in its most Intimate (Scorpio) sense, particularly in matters related to romance/creativity/children (5th house).

Together, the flow of energy created by the Uranus – Saturn/Vesta Biseptile and the Saturn/Vesta – Pluto septile (with Uranus and Pluto connected by a square) creates a powerful flow of inspiration and the potential for deep transformation, resurrection and transcendence. Expect solutions to the impossible to be achieved, if you are willing to allow this flow of inspiration to move through you.

On top of all of this — we’ve got a 5 pointed star formed through the intersections of Inconjunct aspects. This isn’t the perfect star formed as part of a Grand Quintile, but I’ve seen it in enough charts to know that one cannot afford to overlook the alchemy and magic that this Inconjunct-formed-Star can bring to a chart. It’s one of those alignments where … you can only expect the unexpected.

One last note: We also have the Sun septile Ceres today. The energy of inspiration ‘from Source’ allows us to find ways to honor the nurturer within. We may find ways to heal the deepest parts of ourselves as we do so for others at the same time. Ceres is part of a powerful Yod (Finger of Fate) involving Pluto and apexing at the Moon in Gemini.

In short my friends, the energies of the Phoenix are powerfully at work – She is Resurrecting the Feminine in the most intimate, powerful and liberating way possible. Trust the Universe, Trust the Source and you will find what you seek, in the most unexpected ways

Priestess Bairavee Balasubramaniam, PhD

Image information: Phoenix, Canley Ford – geograph.org.uk – 246395.jpg – Mike Downey [CC-BY-SA-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons



Blessings all. When I say the Sacred Feminine, I’m not just talking about women. I’m talking about an integral part of Divinity that moves through all of Creation. Sacred Feminine and Sacred Masculine energies, in the human body at least, most visibly play out their Cosmic Dance in the Sacral Chakra. Men and women tend to experience the interplay of those energies differently, owing to their different sexual characteristics. (But it’s not a hard and fast rule).

At the moment, following swiftly upon the heels of the Grand Sextile – we have an immediate energetic challenge posed in the heavens. (This is probably why I decided to continue ‘holding space’).

Mars is at 29 degrees Scorpio. The (stereotypically) masculine, assertive drive (Mars) seeks to penetrate intimate depths (of emotions, of sexuality and of power plays behind-the-scenes or through indirect means). This can be an amazing and wonderful thing if such penetration occurs with permission, often through the sexual act – though a powerful energetic connection can facilitate the same.

The problem arises when permission is neither asked nor given. Energy violation, or the sense of ‘energy rape’ can then occur. This then becomes an abuse of the power of the Sacred Masculine, over the energetic integrity of the Sacred Feminine. (Again, people can play these roles irrespective of what sex they were born as – I’m using a strong gendered binary here, but look past the constructs and see the energy of my words).

Power plays for domination, often through the violation of sexual or other intimate boundaries and the use of spiritual or magickal practices for less-than-honorable intentions are highlighted as these are ways that the energy of Scorpio can be abused.

This particular energy signature is highlighted now because of the conjunction of Saturn with Vesta at 19 Scorpio at 10:37 am (GMT + 8, 14-9-14), about 5 hours after Mars leaves Scorpio and enters Sagittarius. However, we’re already feeling the intensity of this conjunction now and its energetic implications are already being ‘picked up’ by sensitives all around the world.

Saturn represents the Karmic Trial, or Ancient Pattern that arises, often causes some kind of Restriction or Pain – in its quest to teach you about a certain Limitation, Boundary or need for Ordering/Discipline/Structure. Vesta represents the energy of the Spiritual Facilitator (Priest and Priestess) who tends to the Literal and Metaphorical Sacred Flame: Temple of the Body, Kundalini Energy, and perhaps a literal flame at a constructed Temple. This energy is strongly linked to the Sacral Chakra and, in particular, the preservation of the integrity and continual embodiment of the Sacred Feminine. The use of flame as the vehicle for sacrifice (of ego, not others) and surrender (to Spirit, not other people) is highlighted. Flame can protect and destroy – and the Priest/ess understands both.

At this time, Karmic Fates await in the Balance, determined only by our Choices. Spiritualists, in particular, are challenged now to use the power of Mars in Scorpio to honor and protect Sacred Boundaries (particularly of the Womb, and the Sacred Feminine – in men and women). Scorpio, for all its notoriety, is the point in the zodiac where the Phoenix plunges into the Darkness to Die, and Ultimately to be Reborn. It is the place in which the Shadow is truly understood and its Gifts revealed. Those who decide to manifest the other side of Scorpio (discussed above) will set their own karmic chain of events into motion through their actions.

At the everyday level, the challenge is to honor the sacred boundaries of another, and not seek dominion over them in some form. It is to shy away form the idea that you are somehow entitled to, or have ownership or claim over another person’s energy, body, intimate moments, in any form – for you simply do not.

Whilst we are all one, at the Level of Unity Consciousness, we are clearly separate beings at the level of Form. The two may seem as though they are a paradox, but they coexist quite beautifully. For as we honor our sacred boundaries, we do so in a way that only affirms the Unity and Interconnectedness that we all Share. The desire to ‘own’, ‘conquer’ or ‘intimidate’ another to do your will, or that you may have what they have is indicative of a more divisive approach to Spirit.

For as we all come from the Same Source, we need not compete or seek to rob one another.

Many will be sensing this challenge to the Feminine as a familiar one. The presence of Saturn indicates these tests to be of a karmic nature, most likely one following from lessons in need of completion from previous times. The idea of a penetrative Masculine energy overriding the preferences of the Feminine is certainly not a new idea, in the slightest.

Take care of yourselves, honor your boundaries and those of others. Call upon the Nurturing Detachment of the Crone-Earth-Goddess/Dark Mother Energy to help you set those boundaries, if you have difficulties articulating it – this too is due to the influence of Scorpio – but in its more life-affirming forms. Crone/Earth goddesses include Dhumavati-Ma, The Cailleach, Goddess Hekate and so on – each guard the boundaries of different spaces in their own ways. Similar to the way a Mother might protect her Child, or a Grandmother protecting her grandchild.

This energy is likely to last a day at this current level of intensity.

Blessings and Love to All,
Priestess Bairavee Balasubramaniam, PhD

A WAKE-UP CALL FROM MY BRAIN: Am I trying to complete a million-piece jigsaw with just two parts of the puzzle?


I think I’ve finally settled on a word for this part of my Journey:
Inner Formlessnesses, Outer Balance

Whilst I adore Goddess Kali and Lord Shiva, and so many other Beings from other pantheons — The idea of an Ultimate Masculine, or an Ultimate Feminine doesn’t quite appeal anymore.

What if there’s more to Spiritual Essences or flows of Energy than this whole Masculine-Feminine thing?

Just a thought experiment: If we had three or four different sex chromosomes (and not just X or Y) … would we then have Masculine, Feminine, and two other types of energies? And each had biological differences that translated into different functions (historically and statistically speaking), and each of those functions became reified over time….. In that case, we would have 3 or 4, rather than 2 different ‘types of energy’.

In other words, if we had more sexes in our species, would we have more Divine Archetypes?

Based on the way humanity is configured right now – yeah – totally.

Personally, I feel the Divine is a lot larger than the way certain aspects of our sex/reproductive/biological genders are configured. (Of course culture and history have a lot to do with solidifying those differences).

We’ve seen an evolution in the way we relate to the Divine based on the Tribe (1st chakra), then on Sexual Differences (2nd chakra), then on who conquered whom (3rd chakra – power). And historically speaking, that does make a whole lot of sense.

We saw philosophical approaches to the spiritual that stressed Unity Consciousness (7th chakra and above), that stressed the Rational, Scientific Approach to Spirit (6th chakra) in principles of the Vedas, Saiva Siddhantha and many so-called ‘New Age’ Paradigms. We saw intermediate religious forms that replaced the feminine focus with a masculine deity, along with the rhetoric of shame and (in their eyes) justified suppression of the Yoni and her Teaching.

The more philosophical, and later patriarchal approaches, historically evolved in response to earlier understandings and resulted in the rejection of practices and belief systems that centered upon the Mother, the Priestess, The Serpent and the Earth. Sacred women became witches or whores. Serpents became the Devil And the Earth became Hell, a place of torment, and not the Source of life.

(And so many of us are working to reclaim these condemned traditions, bringing them back into the spiritual mainstream – Hooray!)

Another tangent of the more philosophical approach simply renounced all things material … or any concern in the ‘real-world’, adopting a position of – I’ll call it materialistic nihilism. (For those of us who believe we came as Spirit-in-Flesh for a reason, that doesn’t work either)

The rational, universalistic rhetoric of the later, more philosophical approaches were not borne out in practice as seen as the great departure between text and practice. One cannot claim to recognize to see the Divine in All and then deny a woman, a foreigner, a transvestite – anyone who does not fit the status quo equal rights, even in places of worship. They spoke of detachment, mind and non-judgment, but the institutions that carried that knowledge did not abide to those principles.

Now all this time I thought I was playing for the first team. Then I thought finding a middle space for both teams to shake hands was the task (4th – the Heart Bridge). Now, something in my brain is waking up to say – No love, you’re not even supposed to be playing the same game.

What that is, I’m still finding out.

But back to the discussion –

If I could compare the Divine to any part of the human Body, I’d compare it to the Brain and it’s infinite capacity for neural re-wiring and learning. Heck, the architecture of the brain mimicks the architecture of the Universe – not a coincidence I think.

So why remain fixed upon distinctions rooted in secondary sexual characteristics and learned behaviors?

Coming back to the male-female construct (which is the basis of duality) – What if thinking in these terms of constructs pretty much shuts out other types of energetic expressions? Things which we may have greater access to if were less bound by those constructs.

Don’t get me wrong – this isn’t to say that masculine and feminine do not exist – but perhaps they aren’t the whole picture. Perhaps we’re building a picture of Spirit based on two pieces of the jigsaw, when there may be a million other pieces.

Yeah, dualism doesn’t seem to work for me anymore. But the perspective of ‘it’s all one, it’s all interconnected’ is still missing a few explanatory pit stops, for me at least.

That doesn’t mean to say I don’t believe in the God or Goddess anymore. They do exist, but just in a different space than they used to in my growing relationship with the Universe.

[Again, this is my internal understanding – of how Spirit may be structured – I guess you could call it my evolving philosophical approach to understanding Spirit]

As these ideas wake up in my brain, I ask myself – how do they best translate into the outer world?

Do I stop valuing and honoring the priestess tradition? or the Goddess Path?

Absolutely not. That’s one of the greatest imbalances in the world. If the two pieces are going to reach out to the missing million, they’ve got to work together.

Do I stop seeking for balance?

No way! It’s just that my idea of balance and integration is no longer bound to a male/female form.

Do I stop being a priestess?

Only if I stop being a woman who serves the Divine. And that ain’t changing. Even this line of thought is part of that Path of Service.

So, what, in my external actions – does this line of thought change –

Not much, as far as I can see. The vibration of my words and actions might change, however. The reason why I’d seek balance would of course, be different.

But internally —- Man…. Woman… God.. Goddess… What a Trip writing this has been!

Priestess Bairavee Balasubramaniam, PhD
Where the Divine is taking me, who Knows?



The Divine Does not Discriminate

Whilst we embrace the cause of the Rising Feminine, it is important to note that the end-game is not one where you have two equally strong ‘teams’ polarized against one another. It is not to pit man against woman or God against Goddess.

It is ultimately, a Call for Balance.

I am a Priestess and I champion the cause of priestesses officiating over temples and rituals once more without fear, without prejudice, without discrimination – without the idea of filthiness associated with their bodies and their sex. That does not mean that I see women superior to men, or a Goddess superior to a God.

In me, I have a Goddess, and God. In me, I have the Divine. (I’m still in the process of remembering, and realizing it)

So do you. So do we all. So does every bit of creation, animate and inanimate.

In you, in me, in everything there is a God/Goddess/Formless Divine energy flowing through – so what use is there placing limitations on how it can or cannot be expressed?

I find it strange that those who claim their understanding of ‘God’ is ‘gender-neutral’ find it so threatening or uncomfortable when I or others use the term ‘Goddess’, or Priestess. (If it’s all really equal, then no conflict should arise… )

Ideally, there will come a day where both terms are so accepted and embraced by all, that no one will even bat an eyelid.

But that day is not here yet. We are, of course, all working towards it.

Yes, at the end of the day … It’s all Energy, and Dissolution anyway – but we have chosen to incarnate as Spirit-in-Flesh. And it seems sad when half of that Spirit is denied the expression or recognition of its intrinsic Divinity. The Feminine is repressed and challenged not only when she arises through the bodies of women, but also through men who choose alternative definitions of their masculinity-honoring-Femininity.

Till then, I remain focused upon a Spiritual Path that Honors the Formless Divine by ensuring that its Material Representations (Idols, Statues, Sacred Facilitators) are truly representative.

The paradox of recognizing the God/dess on an altar, and not in the flesh of a person is one I’ll address later.

Blessings and Love to All,
Priestess Bairavee Balasubramaniam, PhD

Image Information: Minoan – Snake Goddess – Walters 23196.jpg – Walters Art Museum [Public domain, CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0) or GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html)], via Wikimedia Commons


Venus opposes Neptune

Blessings to all, another wake-up call from the Universe. Today’s challenge features Venus and Neptune Rx doing the now-familiar Virgo-Pisces Tango. I’ll start with Venus.

Venus takes its energy of attraction-manifestation (in its Taurus’ mode) and the energy of discernment-evaluation-balance (in its Libra’ mode) and places it in Virgo – The sign of the Virgin, the Independent / Self-sufficient Being, the Priest/ess facilitating the Birth of Spirit into Form. The one who Self-Nurtures, and Nurtures Others.

Venus (in any sign) will ask you to think/re-think:

(1) The way you perceive, evaluate or judge things – your material value system, in other words. What do you consider good/bad/beautiful/ugly/worthy/worthless, etc.?
(2) The way you relate to yourself, people, material objects
(3) The way you value, exhibit or view femininity in relationships
(4) The way you understand and express your anima (female aspect of the psyche), and respond to the same in others

In Virgo, all these questions ask you think about your sense of being able to stand on your own two feet, of feeling the need to mask your power through a facade of subservience, of not being able to see just how you can be your own savior? – And through that process of self-acknowledgement – to recognize how you can help others/the planet at the same time.

Some of the questions that may be especially worth asking now are:

Do I have a realistic idea of my own beauty or my own worth/capacity? Am I being too harsh? Too critical? Too lax? Do I adopt standards that are my own, or imposed by others? Are these empowering me or to they tear me down – if so, why do I hold onto them?

Is my job, path, or mode of service to others one that enhances my femininity, or do I use it to hide myself from the Goddess Within?

Am I applying the right kinds of standards in my business? Have I taken into account the need to ‘give back’, preserve the environment? Am I just ‘taking’, or am also creating opportunities of abundance for others?

Do I weave my work with my fertile imagination? With my Sacred connection with the Feminine? How do I create this bridge or connection?

Am I taking care of Me? Or do I spend all of my nurturing and Creative energy on Others? How do I bring things back into balance?

Are my ideas of binaries: Good/Bad, Black/White, Higher/Lower keeping me from seeing the World through the eyes of Spirit? (this is heading into the Neptune side of things)

To understand the energy of Virgo – you might like to have a read of this article on ‘Reclaiming The Virgin’. She’s not the frigid, neurotic woman she’s often typecast as – and she has so much of beauty, service and nurture to offer (within yourself and to others, in balance) –http://wp.me/p4OUNS-5i

So that’s a brief description of the challenges in one half of this dynamic – that of Venus in Virgo.

Neptune Retrograde in Pisces, which Venus in Virgo opposes is a whole other kettle of fish. Where Virgo nurtures through creation, Pisces inspires through destruction. (they can reverse roles too, but this the way they’re playing out now). We’ve all been facing the intensity of Pisces energy as part of the Supermoon so I won’t go too deeply into it here – you know what you’ve had to let go or, surrender, or sacrifice in order to find ‘the way through’.

The Virgo-Neptune Rx opposition echoes what we’ve already experienced with the Sun-Neptune Rx opposition on 29 August 2014. This was close to the time of the Virgo New Moon (25th August). You may find themes from this period, and insights replaying themselves in a different form. I refer you to my article from them for a good summary of the challenge we face now – http://wp.me/p4OUNS-5G – and I quote:

“Whilst we so often elevate the dissolution of boundaries in spiritual discourse – we often forget that certain boundaries are required – at the very least whilst we’re still learning in this Form. Be it sexual, spiritual, etheric, psychic, or other forms of boundaries – we are continually learning that these are important – healthy even. This is where the energy of Virgo comes in. She teaches us how to set realistic boundaries, but ones which Honor your Spirit and your connection with Source. That would be the balancing point between the two polarities, so to speak.”

In practical terms – it’s not the best day to begin a new relationship, or go into a business venture blindly! Have two feet on the ground, eyes wide open, before you attempt to build a castle in the clouds. If you’ve got the Venus-Neptune, Virgo-Pisces balance down, then go for it!

Venus desires enjoyment and is not averse to shutting herself from the energies of detachment and the challenges of living from Spirit. Neptune is not averse to casting illusions or escaping from the material reality that Venus both perceives and manifests. Piscean vulnerability/sensitivity is heightened now with the energies of the Supermoon still in sky (and Chiron Rx’s placement in Pisces).

Try now to take an extreme ‘either/or’ position on anything. Resist the temptation to be overly judgmental or to minimize uncertainty through the ‘blocking’ or spiritual insight that challenges you at this time. Try to stay as grounded and as connected as you can to ‘life’ if your head has been up in the heavens for too long. Remember that you incarnated here, as Spirit-in-Flesh, for a reason

Those of you who have faced this Moon and made the shift you need to will also find this energy of Venus-opposing-Neptune Rx to be a great reality check.

Those of you who are experiencing this energy as a powerful-wake up call – and who don’t know what to do with their emotions may want to ‘turn Spirit into Matter’. Channel what you feel into Creation. Write, perform, play with clay, draw, sing, talk to people, move them, move yourself – do whatever it is that you need to to

Both Spirit, and Matter, Matter
Both Self and Other deserve Nurture
Only you can do it for yourself
And if your cup runneth full,
Remember to share it a deserving Other.
You always have the right to choose.
To discern where your energy goes
How, Why, Where and To Whom
That’s just how it goes x

Blessings to All,
Priestess Bairavee Balasubramaniam, PhD

Image: Machhapuchre Board 6993 81 [Pokhara], Bairavee Balasubramaniam, 2014. All rights reserved.

Pisces Supermoon, Sept 9 2014, 9:38 am GMT + 8, 16 Pisces ’19 (Part 3)

Pisces Full Moon
We’ve all been preparing for the Final Supermoon of 2014. It’s energies have been poignant, beautiful, transformative and utterly spellbinding all at once – a craft that Pisces does best. Look back to March 1st 2014, when we had the Pisces New Moon to see how the experiences you have now are culminations from that point in time.

On March 1st, I found myself an ancient temple in Nepal dedicated to Lord Shiva – the original Pashupathinath. I fell in love, and died there – all at once with the hills, the Spirit and the link to that land. The kind of death you find when the Ego can simply no longer exist in the direct presence of the Divine.

I quite literally stunned my friends at East & West Int. Tours & Travels when I totally changed my plans and pointed to a place on the map – I knew something was there, calling me, and so it was. We did some detective work together and discovered the temple and its link with a sacred mountain in the Himalayas (I’ll tell you about that at some other point). All this so close to MahaShivaratri (The Great Night of Shiva).

I’ve been experiencing the release of attachment, the acceptance of a Divine Plan, the sense of breaking through a wall and onto a new Path. All this is to be expected with Pisces, and for me, personally, it takes me back to Lele, Nepal and to Lord Shiva whom I associate strongly with Pisces energy. Compassionate, nurturing, dissolving, transcending and all-embracing — and somehow still painful, when there is someone or something you’re still holding onto that is not yours. It could be a person, a dream, an idea (about yourself, even).

So – look back, look back, look back to March 1st 2014 and what’s happening now will make a whole lot more sense.

In the skies right now, we have the Sun and Moon/Chiron in a T-Square with the asteroid known as Karma (hint, hint) at 16 Sagittarius. Events are coming to an end, the past revisited, only for its influence to end (if you choose to release, rather than retain). You may also want to look back at March 7th 2014 for when the Sun opposed Karma. I’ve posted a list of links where I’ve presented a deeper astrological analysis of the energies present.

Big changes are happening, my friends. Undeniably so. I suspect many of us will have our understanding or sense of self, destiny and purpose on this planet radically altered at this time.

It’s hard to under-emphasize what this lunation is doing for our collective evolution. Thank the Moon, the Stars and the Universe for being what they are.

Say your goodbyes to the shackles of the past, my friends – because what’s coming next is simply Extraordinary. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say ‘out of this world’.

I’d suggest recording whatever thoughts, impressions, memories, dreams, messages arise within you – or are sent to you – at this time for later reference.

Related Links :

An astrological analysis of aspects present in the sky –http://wp.me/p4OUNS-6C

A Comprehensive 12-House Astrological Coping Strategy for the SuperMoon – http://wp.me/p4OUNS-6s

An introduction to the SuperMoon –http://wp.me/p4OUNS-62

A Poem dedicated to this Moon (Dissolution: Maya Un-Masked) – http://wp.me/p4OUNS-6G

A Goddess (Shakti) who embodies this energy beautifully http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/08/dhum-dhum-dhumavati-the-formless-shakti-of-smoke-detachment-priestess-bairavee-balasubramaniam-phd/

Blessings to All,
Priestess Bairavee Balasubramaniam, PhD

Photo: Pisces SuperMoon 2014 by Bairavee Balasubramaniam. All rights reserved.