Recently, someone asked me what I meant by ‘Formlessness’ – It’s come up a lot in my ongoing pilgrimage.

I understand the Path of Formlessness as something that detaches from a particular fixation upon form. It does not negate the fact that spirit can move and work through matter, but that it can and does constantly shift its form of expression. Spiritual energy, Divinity, our connection with some sense of Cosmic Consciousness does not have to be held down and exclusively confined to material objects, ideas and practices – be it a statue, temple, ritual, religion, ideology or spiritual world-view.

Formlessness in other words, honors the various material expressions of Divinity but does not see the need to confine itself to one in particular. One can find the sacred in a blade of grass, a lone puppy wandering without food on the street, the smile of a friend, the glorious statue of a Goddess, an ancient temple, your reflection in the mirror – and more (or nothing at All).

I would however draw the line at claiming that material forms are somehow … lesser or impure. They are channels of expression, the canvas through which we see the movement of spirit. – in the same way that you can see the movement of the wind across the lake by observing changes at the water’s surface, or the presence of force by the changes it can exert on objects.

And that is where – for me – The Dark Goddess comes in. She teaches me to honor Her, and all Things in All Forms, and to detach from my preconceptions of what an expression or experience of Divinity must look and feel like. And at the end of the day, I know that that construct too will one day give rise to a perspective that transcends even that.

As She takes me through the different levels of consciousness, she ensures that I arrive at – time and again – in the space of Compassionate Detachment. Where I find Her, so too do I find the Compassionate Masculine.

When someone asks me what my spiritual path is — this is the answer I give them – I am a Daughter, Priestess and Embodiment of the Dark Goddess, on the Path of Formlessness. (And at some point, even that answer will dissolve).

Now, some people find the idea that they-you-we-me-everyone ’embodies divinity’ as problematic. Part of that comes from the elevated status that we ritually ascribe to The Sacred. But by going on the Path that allows you to realize your inner Divinity, you often lose any interest in any kind of pomp, ceremony, title, validation or any kind of special treatment for realizing it. You might still need some ritual forms and understandings to express your sacred energy, but there is … a detachment to that expression.

In other words – We are all expressions of Divine Energy. And when one begins to realize that at a deeper level, any idea of ‘grandeur’, or superiority on account of that Divinity flies out the window.

This reminds me of a line from one of my favourite films (Baba, 2002) where a disillusioned seeker meets Mahavatar Babaji – a great spiritual presence who is said to remain eternally young in the Himalayas – and asks him –

Are you God?

Mahaavatar replies. I am God. You are God. All things are God. The only difference between you and I is that I have realized that, whilst you haven’t.

This is the lesson that my pilgrimage has been.. teaching me at a cellular level. I’ve been visiting my favourite temples, and finding myself disillusioned with the physical trappings.. It’s a good kind of disillusionment. I’m still going to keep going with the pilgrimage, but it feels that the purpose has shifted.

Believe me when I say I’ve felt this overwhelming urge to simply give up all of that (the title, the path, the constructions, the explanations, the words) and sit somewhere and just be. I still have certain responsibilities and duties that I chose to fulfill, though I await the time where that complete surrender can happen.

It’s one thing to read about how we are all Divine and understand the philosophy behind it – and I assure you, it’s a very different thing when you begin to feel that in every fiber of your being. In some sense you crave disembodiment, what the ancients called ‘Jeeva Samadhi’, where the Soul returns back to the Elements and is at One. It remains alive in some form, but without the physical body to house that consciousness.

It’s a very different idea than dying, suicide, or anything of that sort. Attaining that state requires great discipline, unconditional love and absolute surrender – Of Everything. Even the Ego that would like to believe that you’re doing that already.

Being in the land of my ancestors, Tamil Nadu, I find myself less and less fixated upon defining myself in terms of any identity. Be it a national, ethnic, religious, spiritual, gendered, or in fact – any identity.

The interesting thing is that it doesn’t feel like I’m having an identity crisis, but am stripping away the various attachments I had to certain ideas, and a more … eternal sense of Self is beginning to show itself.

As the Soul begins to remember its origins, such definitions generally dissolve. For we have all cycled through various lifetimes of being men, women, different genders, of living in various cultures, of learning so much that it seems pointless to have a definition of the Self confined to the present lifetime.

At least that is where my journey is taking me. I expected to learn and feel something completely different on this trip, but I’m glad I’m being guided in the way that I am.

At some point, the external search simply comes to a halt.

Gattam Gattam; Mudinjithu Mudinjipotchi (What is done, is done – In Sanskrit and Tamil)

And one finds, that at the end of the day, you and your Beloved, you and your sense of Divinity have always been One and the Same.

And the next chapter begins.

Blessings to All,

Priestess Bairavee Balasubramaniam PhD

I will be speaking more about my experiences on this pilgrimage at 4 pm Tuesday (Central US/Chicago Time) on The Dark Mother’s Children. Tune in if you’d like to find out more –

Image: Bairavee with Bhairavi at Thanjavur Art Musuem (13/4) & Text and Linked Content © Bairavee Balasubramaniam, 2015. All rights reserved.


Panel interview 1

Topics/Questions addressed in this interview (in order of their discussion):

– What is a Priestess?
– Who am I? How did I get started on The Path?
– What is the Nurturing Feminine/Masculine?
– What is the Assertive Masculine/Feminine?
– Astrological Bodies that represent the Feminine/Masculine
– Interpreting Venus & Mars in the Natal Chart
– The Goddess & God in Astrology
– Reinterpreting Juno and Virgo
– The Fiery Venus: Going back to Goddesses Ishtar and Inanna
– The Compassionate Masculine: The Christ Archetype and Lord Shiva
– Eroding Gender Binaries and its Impact on Astrological Interpretation
– The Path of Formlessness / Dissolution
– What is ‘The Shadow’? (Goddess Chinnamasta as Compassion, Saturn as Crone-Love – Reversing the Archetypes and bringing them into balance)
– Nessus & Overcoming the Cycle of Abuse
– Eros & Intimacy
– Re-defining Astrology as a Tool of Healing

+ why everything said in this interview is but one Truth, not fixed, and open to Interpretation and Evolution … breaking through the stereotypes!


Many thanks to Empower You Media and Conscious Consumer Network TV and all panelists. Links: , and Living Astrology


Blessings to all,

Priestess Bairavee Balasubramaniam PhD

Astrology FB Page: Astrology with Priestess Bairavee Balasubramaniam PhD



If there is one ‘Absolute’ Principle that I believe in it is this – That nothing is Absolute. I find that the moment we overly identify with one path, understanding, view, goal, principle, or self-image, we begin to block out many other possibilities. This is not to say we shouldn’t have any of that stuff, but rather that we shouldn’t get tied down into it and be open to other possibilities as being equally valid.

To some extent, trying to find a definition of something (Path, Self, Spirit, anything) that is fixed and stable is part of the way we’re wired. Unpredictability, facing the unknown, dancing with the Mystery – wasn’t something that served us from a evolutionary perspective. We didn’t know if the thing in the shadows was a friend, a friendly pup, an enemy, or a hungry sabertooth. Exploring that space of ‘not knowing’, the primordial Shadow – whilst it is something more and more of us are beginning to cherish now – was not always seen as the ideal. It still isn’t, in many spaces.

The human mind-brain is excellent in creating a fixed view of yourself or your connection with Spirit, along with a framework of perception that reinforces that view. We call this a confirmation bias, where we see what we expect to see. Conversely, when that view is changed or challenged, we experience cognitive dissonance. This applies to every facet of our lives, including the paths we walk as part of our Spiritual Journeys.

The flip-side of this is that our brains are neuroplastic, they have the ability to rewire themselves at any age. And so we always have the choice to change the neural pathways that have become fixed. In my other life as a motivational speaker, I view this concept as a powerfully liberating one. I’ve seen many eyes light up in the recognition that they can change the way they think, the way they perceive, they way they fundamentally exist in relationship to the rest of the world. There is no reason why that should not apply in spiritual discourse.

We don’t always choose to use this ability to re-wire, to break away from a more fixed idea of self, Path, Spirit, anything. We tend to hold onto what we think we know as – sooner or later – it becomes something that gives us a sense of stability, consistency and predictability. Those evolutionary predispositions come back in, I guess.

In the spiritual context – yes, it’s easy to apply this as a critique to those who believe in the more institutionalized, organized form of religion with a more ‘fixed’ understanding of knowledge. But it equally applies to those who are trying to chart new pathways, breaking out of that paradigm and into something new.

I’ve seen it with myself as well – so, I’m not speaking from a ‘holier-than-thou’ perspective. For some context – right now, the Path that I see myself on is a Formless One. But even in describing and expounding on that journey, I put certain things into a form, structure and give it a shape. Intellectually, at the level of the mind, it might ‘make sense’ . I might attach to that form, and invest emotions into it, and build that as the basis of some sense of security.

(And – we all do this, in so many parts of our lives – it’s the way we simplify information so we don’t need to expend energy thinking about everything all of the time.)

But thankfully there are other parts to my being, other energy centers that hold their sacred wisdom — very clearly but the rest of me knows that there is more to the picture. And even if I unwisely ignore that wisdom, the Universe has a way of making sure that I step back from the mind and to take those messages seriously! The Uranus/Pluto square-dance, beginning in 2012 and ending next month, bring the necessity of this reflexive self-awareness to the collective in powerful ways.

In other words, I am constantly guided to keep walking in a way that engages all of my being, and not just one part of it. In a way that looks past the mental constructs and illusions of self that the mind – through any act of intense self-identification – can produce. And I know others are guided to do the same.

Especially in an age where so many spiritual communities are built in virtual lands, the temptation to slip purely into one’s head-space is present. We are moved by, enraged by, motivated and even depressed by things that we see as a virtual representation of another person, and our perception of it. In some ways, as we interact in hyperspace, we also project an (often idealized) version of ourselves – a version of self that we may latch upon, become attached to and become emotionally invested in. Sometimes it’s a nice image, sometimes it’s hurtful – either way – it’s not you, but a representation that may or may not be accurate.

It might be the Venus-in-Aries shift (earlier today) talking here, but I do feel that I/you/we need a collective reminder to get out of that headspace. Get physical. Get connected with something material, tangible. To hug a tree, to hold a friendly animal. To meet people, to shake their hands and share a physical space with them. To witness others, and in the process, ourselves.

Do we interact the same way as we would online? Are we the same person in the flesh as we are as a virtual representation? Does the image we have of ourselves match up to the people we are in the flesh? Do we embody the spiritual philosophies that we hold so near and dear to ourselves as we engage within supposedly ‘mundane’ reality?


Priestess Bairavee Balasubramaniam PhD

Image: Mirror Sphere.jpg – By Arne Groh (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons


As the veil of illusion dissolves, you become aware of your intrinsic Divinity. You realize that you are not just a part of All-That-Is, but All-That-Is is also, equally, a part of you. You are the Divine and the Divine is you.

Most people have experienced this profound sense of clarity at least once in their lives. We label those who exist in this vibration all of time as Ascended Beings.

We can call this an internal alignment, integration or Awareness-of-Oneness – when it feels as though the turning wheels of the heavens, the vibrations of the Earth, the longings of your Deepest Self all levels of your Awareness rest on one perfect place.

The Universe can not only be seen in a grain of sand, it becomes that grain, and that grain is You.

To me – this inner alignment constitutes what we call ‘living or being in a State of Grace’. It flows just as true for the being who stands up to injustice, or watches over a loved one, a being who smiles at a sunflower or dances with the deep, wild night, a figure in prayer, a figure who rises in protest.

It matters not what form it takes on the outside, or how that form is judged by others – only that it resonates and echoes with you in that most sacred alignment of Self and Cosmos. Grace wears many faces and takes many forms, yet through it all – it vibrates with a particular frequency or energetic signature that is Universal.

You can think of it as a fluid movement or flow of energy through you. Perfectly poised, balanced, effortless. Especially in moments where such balance is deemed impossible, like the stones on this image.

These moments of heightened clarity are ones in which our actions feel somehow destined. There is generally a sense of calmness and detachment, even when engaging in the most dynamic activity. And a profound sense of peace. No Ego, No I, Nothing. Only that which must be done.

~ Priestess Bairavee Balasubramaniam, PhD


I discuss this and other topics on the re-emergence of Balance, specifically through the rising of the Feminine as part of a panel of wise women:

Image: Stone & Rock Balancing Inuksuk style.jpg – By Peacefulmovements (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (], via Wikimedia Commons