NESSUS , HYLONOME & PHAETHON´S LESSONS DURING THE VIRGO FULL MOON (22-2-2016)

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The Virgo Full Moon was a weird one. Its energy signature differed strongly from what one would normally expect. True, the role of the Facilitator, and its logical-pragmatic-analytical focus on detail and the daily grind was present – but so was something else. It wasn´t quite like a ´normal´Virgo´ signature (whatever that means anymore). Whilst Uranus-Pluto was cited as a likely cuplrit (so to speak), and that can well be the case, I would like to offer an alternative explanation. **trigger warning**

During the Full Moon, the Sun was conjunct Nessus (2 Pisces). Nessus is one of those asteroids which I involuntarily wince at when I see it strongly aspecting a personal planet during my readings. In mythology, Nessus reflects the energy of the abuser, one who violates the space of another, often through sexual means. In mythology, Nessus seeks to abduct and rape Deianeira, the wife of Hercules. Hercules manages to kill Nessus, but not before Nessus convinces Deianeira that his blood will ensure her husband´s loyalty to her. Long story short, Deianeira falls for the con and ensures that Hercules comes into contact with Nessus´ blood, leading to the great hero´s death.

At a symbolic level, the overt predation of Nessus is visible in the myth, as is the more energetically insidious effects of the poison, hidden in his blood. There is great irony in the fact that woman whom he intended to violate should then offer her trust to one so undeserving, ultimately leading to the tragedy of her husband´s death. So there´s a lot more going on here than the simple ´Nessus is a jerk´ narrative.

Whilst I don´t subscribe to victim-shaming in any form, Nessus teaches us that – whilst the actions of others who seek to cause harm to us are not our fault – there are certain vulnerabilities (gullability, naievete, etc.) within ourselves that we can first address.

The experience of Nessus on a personal planet can quite literally feel like a sense of violation, or, even numbness, i.e. a perceived energetic disconnection. I like Christine Sarah´s take on Nessus as the indicator of where Eros (our sense of intimacy) is most wounded. She makes the argument that this is where we feel most disconnected, and equally, where some of the greatest healing can take place.

Nessus in Pisces conjunct the Sun (3 Pisces) intensifies the emphasis on the abuser-victim and dynamics of obsfucation or manipulation, veiled in Piscean Shadow. A different alternative, as I see it, would have been a greater awareness of the kinds of ways in which we allow / have allowed ourselves to enter situations of great vulnerability, coupled with potential abuse. Some may see the roots of their own ability to play the role of the abuser in an intimate sense as well.

The Virgo Moon (3 Virgo) itself was under heavy strain, as part of a Grand Earth Trine with Phaethon (4 Taurus) and Hylonome (4 Capricorn). Phaethon´s energy resonates with that of the self-destructive teenager, recklessly and impulsively acting out his/her (perceived) distrust of the father figure. He did not know that his father was The Sun God, finding out the truth years later. Hylonome refers to the woman who impales herself upon the spear that her husband, Cyllarus, was killed by. Cyllarus himself rushed into some situation beyond his ability to handle, again, upon pure impulse. Both placements speak to a lack of restraint, and a deep sense of distrust. Phaethon distrusts his father and Hylonome simply does not believe that she can live without her husband. Phaethon recklessly drives the Sun Chariot and is killed by Zeus lest the former destroy humanity, Hylonome and Cyllarus both die because they act upon pure, unmeasured, impulse.

Virgo´s ethos is to heal, serve, preserve and find pragmatic ways to keep the routine of material life manageable. But even she has her fuse, and one that is likely to have exploded with the kinds of insights Sun conjunct Nessus brought to the fore from Pisces. Some may have found truly balanced responses to the deep, and profound spiritual recognition that would have come about – and others may have reverted to Virgo´s shadow – that of the hyper-critical, nit-picky neurotic. Perhaps a combination of both. The lessons of the Moon were further intensified by Phaethon and Hylonome´s respective positions.

Now is the time to seek out deep medicine for wounds surrounding the Father / Patriarch, the deep lack of faith or distrust of Spirit (particularly if one has suffered profound wounds), the idea that one is ´alone´ in the Cosmos (linked to the former) and generally, with issues surrounding the victim-abuser dynamic.

That alone tells me it was a whopper of Full Moon for many. Bear in mind that some will be unusually sensitive to these dynamics, whereas others, on different journeys, will have a different experience of the same. It´s hard to pinpoint what the experience will be like at the individual level, particuarly with detail-blurring Pisces involved 😉

Blessings to All. This energy remains in the skies for the next three days (at least).

Bairavee Balasubramaniam
The Sky Priestess

 

Post & Image ¨Mist in Monserrat, 2016¨  © Bairavee Balasubramaniam, 2016. All rights reserved.

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RADICAL, AUTHENTIC SELF-EMBODIMENT: Lessons from the Finger of Fate (Yod) involving Mars, North Node, Jupiter and Vesta-conjunct-Eris

Radical Self Embodiment

Authenticity. Truth. Awareness. Being. These are our contemporary spiritual buzzwords – and for good reason – as that same message beams to us from the skies, coded in astrological alignments.

A few days ago, we saw the mighty Eris-Vesta conjunction, one that dared us to break through the many layers and forms of social conditioning that told us that we should never be our truest selves. This is especially true for women and for men who recognize their connection with a Deeper sense of Femininity. Be it the nurturer, the assertive seeker of justice, the avenging Goddess, the compassionate Mother – whatever you resonate with. What has been hidden or suppressed is now ready to be revealed and fully embodied.

Eris is the Goddess of Chaos, whereas Vesta is the Goddess of the Hearth or Sacred Flame. In Aries, they both encourage us to express and experience different forms and levels of Be-ing, Using the metaphor of flame, one represents the raging forest fire, and the other, the steady lamp that lights the home and hearth. Both are necessary, both are valid, both are aspects of Being. (and everything else in between)

In short, the Eris-Vesta conjunction is a powerful call to radical self-embodiment, where we are no longer constrained by these societal ´rules´ that tell us how to Be, and forms of Femininty we must or must not express.

Both Eris and Vesta are a part of a powerful Yod (Finger of Fate). They form its apex, connected by way of inconjuncts (150 degree angles) to Mars, the North Node and Jupiter. Essentially, Yods are powerful funnels of karmic energy and alchemy. They push you to make certain key choices and karmic decisions, accelerating and intensifying your spiritual growth process to a powerful degree. They can be profound catalysts of life-changing decisions, precusors to spiritual awakening.

The experience of a Yod can be harsh, particularly if you resist the changes it pushes you to make at a deep, sub-conscious level. Yods can be quite fun and energizing if you view them as opportunities to step out of old cycles and consciously choose your process of energetic engagement with the Cosmos. At the end of the day, it boils down to a matter of perspective. 

This particular Yod began on February 8 and will continue to have effect till February 24, 2016. Let´s look at the other components of this alignment:


Mars´ role at 24 Scorpio tells us that the way to develop and discover this Radical sense of Selfhood is through the domain of the sub-conscious, and the ancestral or karmic lineage that we bear. We look to the energy and assertiveness of Mars in recogizing karmic patterns that relate to the way we seek intimacy, control, power and resources (financial, sexual and otherwise). Much of this ties in with the way we have been taught to relate to the Masculine (Yang) Archetype, be in through self-expression and/or projection unto our partners. Mars in Scorpio can seek power through conquest, manipulation, violence and other forms of control – this is when it operates through the Ego. At a more realized level, Mars in Scorpio can seek true power through the act of Surrender. Not necessarily to another, but as an act of honoring the Depth of the Self, and its connection with the Sacred. Much of this energy will focus upon lower-chakra work, our archetypal connection with the Shadow Domain and the Underworld and/or the Sub-Conscious. Scorpio´s energies relate to alchemy and the reactivity of energies or elements, be it in the boardroom or the bedroom. The merger of resources catalyzes the creation of something new, often through the destruction (and transmutation) of its component parts.

The North Node and Jupiter (20-22 Virgo) demonstrate how our path to greatest growth, spiritual evolution and personal expansion is linked with the need to preserve and nurture the material requirements of the self (before being able to serve others). Be it through the act of facilitation, organization, logistical management, or the need to take care of the ´little things´, i.e. the nuts and bolts of daily existence – Virgo tells us that through the seemingly mundane, we discover new ways to materially and physically sustain whatever newer forms of power/intimacy (Scorpio) and being (Aries) we seek to explore and embody. It is especially important to recognize the need to take care of the well-being of the physical vessel through daily routines, ritual-work and other material acts – so that it can truly serve. Whether it´s 5 minutes of deep breathing, chanting, earthing, or a bi-weekly salt soak for the feet, or making sure that you´ve got a roof over your head and healthy food to eat – whatever way, no matter how ´trivial´ it may seem as compare to the the ´larger questions´, this is where Jupiter (the Teacher, Revealer of the Path Ahead) and the North Node (A Chance to Break out of Old Karmic Cycles and Begin New Lessons) tell us to focus upon at this time. Bear in Mind that Chiron (18 Pisces) opposes Jupiter and the North Node, pressuring us to more fully look at the archetype of the ´wounded healer´ and the role that the ´wound´ has played in our understanding of Service thus far. Perhaps it need not play the same role as it had before.

This is linked with a far larger question on woundology, and how we have been taught that association with our wounds is somehow elevated, more spiritual and/or saintly. I´ve discussed this elsewhere, but here´s the argument in a nutshell.

For too long have spiritualists and facilitators been told that they must live from hand-to-mouth or suffer physical depravation and/or to pedestalize suffering and woundedness in order to truly be ´holy´. Perhaps that was the marker of sainthood in an earlier age, but it seems me that the ethos of the current age is decidedly different. That is not to say that true acts of surrender and sacrifice are not sacred, it is to say that there are other roads or paths to spirituality. We need not be confined to one.

Returning to the North Node and Jupiter in Virgo, following from this logic, we are asked to explore the idea of taking care of, or preserving the self first so it can be self-sufficient. We are shamed into avoiding this as it would (allegedly) make us ´selfish´. I find that a strange argument as a healer who has him/herself taken the time to heal, get grounded and perhaps even find happiness – is more likely going to be able to better help another through the process. In this sense, self-preservation, starting at the most everyday level, can only empower you further as a faciliator.

Taking it all together, this Yod enables us to penetrate through old-paradigm dogma, and to discover and experience a more fuller sense of Being. That doesn´t have to be all rage, anger and roaring fire at the status quo, it can just as well break through into a more compassionate heart-space where Radical Self-Embodiment is Radical Self-Acceptance. There are many ways this can play out, so feel free to explore what works for you.

I should also mention that the likelihood of seeing a health crisis emerge or erupt as the catalyst to awakening is also present. Scorpio rules healing and Virgo health – they both focus on Aries (the Self). Give your bodies time to adjust to the awakening process underway and feel free to take plenty of rest (you´ll be processing in your sleep anyway).

In conclusion, I would like to share something from an Eris Awakens session that just concluded. What I witnessed was so beautiful, fragile and powerful that it will forever stay with me. The lady I was working with experienced a beautiful breakthrough, an absolute moment of clarity that visibly showed on her face. From a place of deep anger, she moved into a far calmer heart-space, forsaking none of Her Fierce Femininty, but becoming far more open to embrace a more fuller expression of All-That-(She)-Is. It was quite a beautiful thing to witness, and it´s still sinking in.

What a powerful time we live in.

Blessings, and I hope this article has served as a guide to understanding the powerful energies of this Yod.

May we each find our own paths to Radical Self-Embodiment, in ways that harm none and create greater beauty, in Self and the Collective.

Bairavee Balasubramaniam
The Sky Priestess

Image: Composite of Astrolog screenshot and ´The Priestess´ by Louise Welden Hawkins, 1890, Public Domain via Wikimedia Commons.

Post © Bairavee Balasubramaniam, 2016. All rights reserved.

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Spiritual Shaming, Self-Worth and Why Suffering Isn’t the Way You Need To Go …

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We are all, Children of the Universe. We come into being bearing so many Gifts and so much Love. We all have so much to Give.
The sad part is when we forget that we are a part of the Collective. That we too, deserve the love, nurture, support and abundance that we so freely and willingly give to others.
The sad part is when we deny ourselves the same flow of energy we seek to open for others. Some locate it within a rhetoric that says ‘if you suffer, you are sacred’.
Really? Why?
A lot of spiritual growth happens when you truly sit and feel into that question. Yes, suffering, feeling wounds, scars, trauma – can be an incredibly rewarding process. But why is being in pain any less sacred than being happy and fulfilled?
The political scientist in me says that’s an awfully convenient idea to tell a population unhappy with the way they lives are panning out. It makes for a great captive population.
‘What, your life isn’t great? Taxes are too high? The Plague? What, you want reforms? Err…Uhm… — Well… that’s just God’s way, and my, aren’t you blessed to suffer so … What do you mean why? Well, you’ve sinned!!!! (and depending on your perspective, that’s this life or lives past, or simply for having been born human and wanting to pro-create)’
The priestess in me looks at it as as a well-meaning but outdated adherence to a old paradigm that, frankly, does not hold water in the present (unless you really really want it to – and if you do, be aware that it is your choice).
And a lot of that goes back to what I’ve been writing recently on the wounded healer / woundology paradigm. There’s a very big difference between taking the time you need to work through it, and between self-sabotaging your healing process because (1) you don’t believe you can heal (2) you don’t believe you deserve to (3) the Ego says it’s holy to suffer, or (4) that you’ve sinned so badly you deserve to fry for the remainder of your existence/s
Now – this whole dialogue on sinning / attachment to woundedness / refusal to see yourself as deserving better – deserves its own book. I’m going to move onto a different aspect of the question.
Another reason (especially) healers who provide services to others have issues with healing / nurturing themselves is because of the ‘God will provide’ argument.
Let’s break that down shall we.
I recall a few weeks ago (and I’ve seen it a few times) an individual who was very upset with me charging for my services and going on my travels (it’s how I do my thing). He was so so so agitated and kept telling me how I needed to repent as God would provide me with I needed.
Truth be told, yes, God/Goddess has absolutely provided. I have a skillset which I can use, and people willing to honor the work I facilitate. I make sure that I can give back what I receive, not just through paid sessions. I actually do quite a bit of pro bono work, and donate when I can.
Plus – Spirit is the one that decides when, how much and how I do what I do. So, as I tend to say, ‘If you don’t like it, take it up with the Boss. I’m sure Ma-Kali can squeeze you in for an appointment 😉 ‘
Without much surprise, I find I never get this kind of judgment from polytheists – most cultures that believed in more than one form of deity has, inevitably, some form of being that celebrated Abundance, Prosperity, Success and Wealth.
The only ‘sin’ that I see happening is when a person gives only to receive, does not honor the balance of exchange of energy or measures their worth only in terms of dollars/currency made.
Plus, if we think about it – even within the paradigm of ‘God provides’, who is to say that flow of energy does not come through money?
Plus – if we were to hold to a very strict interpretation of that argument – by that same logic, no one would need any help from any human at all.
That’s not the paradigm we currently live in, so .. I’m not buying that argument so much. It uses the name of the Divine, but shames those who give into a place where they cannot receive.
If Ascended Beings still emoted the way most humans do, I’m sure that they’ve *facepalmed* quite a bit over the past few centuries.
So in summary:
Yes, you’ve got gifts to give.
Yes, you’ve got the right to be happy.
Yes, you’ve got the right to reap the rewards of your work.
No, you are not a sinner for wanting to do so.
No, you are not a sinner for wanting to not suffer.
No, you are not any less sacred for wanting to make sure your needs are met.
We have been conditioned to think this way. And it is time to lift those shackles.
Step away from anyone who has to shame you into becoming ‘spiritual’.
We’re moving into a New Paradigm, people.
Plus, we’re eventually moving into a global economy that has got to run in different ways. Once we deal with our collective issues surrounding money / energy exchange / women / the sacral chakra (all linked to the same vibration) .. I think this discussion will be completely obsolete.
Hope that happens sooner, rather than later x
Ciao for now!
Bairavee Balasubramaniam
The Sky Priestess
Post © Bairavee Balasubramaniam, 2015. All rights reserved. Please see T&Cs below. I have had to update them recently as people have been sharing my work in ways that do not honor the time and effort put into them.
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Image: W44 Supernova Remnant by By NASA/DOE/Fermi LAT Collaboration, NRAO/AUI, JPL-Caltech, ROSAT [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons. Digitally Altered by Bairavee Balasubramaniam (08 December 2015).

 

 

 

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