I am firstly thankful for all of you who have been supporting me in these past few months, be it through financial contributions, prayers, or both.
I tried different approaches in the past few months, including deep rest – but they did not appear to fully do the trick. I am thankful for those who have tried to be of assistance, but it is clear to me that the remaining answers I require I will find through my work, as guided by Spirit.
It has been hard not to work. It has been hard not to help the community that has been growing with me since 2013. But it has also been illuminating.
I finally got the signal today, that I had to get back on the horse and see what I could discover for myself, and ultimately help others with. It is unsurprising that it comes during an Aquarian Full Moon part of a Grand Fixed Cross with the Sun, North Node, South Node, Uranus and Saturn.
Karmic gates are opening today as people make choices that will set them unto new trajectories of evolution, or devolution. Not every trigger will be a pleasant surprise – some will be downright frightening. But it is what will show you, and others, the truth of being.
This is a time where the courage of one’s heart is revealed.
Or where selfishness blinds you to the path of truth and love.
Work for me, resumes immediately.
And I thank all of you who have stuck by me and supported me and my little family through these desperate times.
Hello everyone, I have good news! Let me start with some general words of thanks, and a re-cap. And then the hopeful stuff!
First of all, a big thank you to all of you who responded to my SOS in early May. Shortly after I wrote that message, I sustained a concussion without any physically visible cause. It was a whack to the head as I was heading back to our current place. We then got into the lift and it kept moving up and down very very quickly in a haphazard manner. I was disoriented and dizzy but immediately got into prayer, and then it finally stopped at the right level. It was pretty terrifying. (And no, it did not have any prior electrical issues)
When we got back to the house, I just sat there unable to move or speak for hours because of the disorientation from the concussion. That day, I told my baby I wasn’t sure that I was going to make it. Breathing just got harder and harder, and there was no real physical remedy or approach that was able to make a difference.
I realized I had hit my limit and had no real idea what the next move should or could be. I knew that if I did not get help, me and my family would be dead within a few months.
To monitor my situation, I worked with a bio-resonance center that was able to measure the frequencies of specific organs. After looking at the software a little closer, as the scans were indicating things that were humanly impossible, I convinced the doctor to pull up the auric scans for each major organ. It was horrifying. And I do not use that word lightly. I wanted to cry.
It’s been that way for some time, but I didn’t say anything till I felt I had exhausted every resource, every means of being able to address the situation in some way.
To say that me – and my brother – were at death’s door is not an exaggeration. There were clear and present signs of damage that reflected rapidly deteriorating health, and no explanation why. Not even long COVID fit anymore. No diabetes. No real indications of hyper-estrogen. My liver scans suddenly looked like an alcoholic’s even though I don’t really drink alcohol or eat terrible food. I’ve had a lot of health practitioners write in, but things were changing way too fast for the worse, and in new ways each day.
From the metaphysical side of things – all of the usual approaches people take to psychic causes, spiritual attacks and defense were just not working on us. Very detailed investigations on other spiritual causes did not yield fruit despite trying for three years in earnest and even longer than that in a general capacity. Nothing was adding up and we could not find a discernible cause.
We learnt many things about ourselves, spirituality and the cosmos in the process – but I tell you I would not wish that cost on anyone. As I heal, I will be able to share and teach aspects of that journey that are safe to be witnessed and understood.
But every reading, every healing, every clearing, every prediction did not work – or if it did, just for a little while. And often, there would be the offer to work with an energy of a lower frequency, and no matter how hard it was to say no to the promise of help, it was not worth it.
Even the astrology (and you can imagine how I investigated in multiple systems) did not fully account for the sheer extremity of it.
Those of you following me on my youtube channel have had glimpses into the way our lives have been transformed in the past few years. It’s been humbling to say the least.
Being unable to move at all for days on end, even to go to the bathroom, for a person who was jet-setting just a few years ago is … a vast change. (And there’s a lot more than that, but that’s the most obvious example I can give you).
We have survived accidents, spontaneous fires, metal bending in impossible ways, cracks appearing overnight on walls, and things more suited for horror movies in 3-D. Things we could document, measure and photograph as there were so many times we wondered if we were just imagining the whole thing. But the evidence is there – and the good news is that we’re finding a way out of it.
Some people have run reading these little glimpses, and that’s probably for the better. The work is real. Deeply real. Never let anyone tell you otherwise. These are the same people who, following the ‘ just world theory’ seek to blame the person experiencing these events because ‘ bad things don’t happen to good people’. If you believe that, you’ll believe anything.
But for those of you staying on, thank you for your courage and compassion to trust and bear witness. And to support, be it through heartfelt prayer or financial help (which we still do need as we are still healing). Thank you all so so much.
Now – let me tell you about the positive stuff that happened 🙂
The day after I spoke to my baby telling her I wasn’t sure if I would be around for long, someone reached out to me offering help. A few people also did but I got a clear message that despite their good intentions, they would not be able to assist.
We have gone to a lot of people seeking guidance and help these past few years, only to find them limited by their own fears and projections – or to see them get affected, often as they overstepped into something beyond their ability or scope of authority. But we kept looking – and even that experience taught me how to really vet my clients and know what I could and wasn’t my task to handle.
I think 2022, despite my health and financial difficulties, was the year I refunded the most people as I knew I was not the person they needed.
There was something different about the person who reached out to help me. She made no grandiose claims. She was earnest, modest but calm. She did not immediately try to prescribe and diagnose or provide solutions from her experience.
She wanted to talk to me. And I liked her energy. I did not know anything about what she did or how she did it, but I could see Grace in her.
I spoke to Source and said: This is the last one. If this person cannot help me, that’s it. I’m going to face my fate whatever it may be.
We had been gaslit by so many people donning the title of facilitator or teacher for so long, that at that point I just could not go through that rigmarole again.
But I’m glad I listened to my instinct. She is the real deal. I will be interviewing her soon so more people can be helped. But not everyone will need her level of work.
From this teacher, I learnt that what’s been happening to me has been intimately tied into the collective work I have been doing for years. That is not what I do publicly on social media and my website, as most of my work is energy based. Of course it’s karmic (everything good and bad that happens has some connection to that) – but not in the way I was thinking.
It wasn’t a punishment ‘ for something bad I did’ , but it was … an opportunity for me to … walk the talk. To be tested, to be witnessed and to stand true in the face of relentless, unyielding horror for several years on end. When I finally hit my limit, I surrendered fully.
It triggered many different patterns and waves of change, in spaces both seen and unseen. There is little point hiding the fact that I appear to be a person of significant interest in the spiritual world. This entire journey was witnessed.
My brother wants to beat up whatever higher aspect of myself that agreed to this experience in the name of the greater good, but I don’t blame him. It’s been hard for him to see his little sister go through this and not be able to help despite being a wonderful healer, and vice versa. It’s been hard for my baby, but she has more wisdom than I do.
This experience, as painful as it has been, is probably why I have been able to reach people who have needed help in the darkest of spaces whilst all this was going on. You have to walk that journey to be able to empathize. It’s not something you can intellectualize or imagine into being, but a shared knowing.
Source guided me through every step. It was always a bizarre irony that the extreme levels of protection I could place on my clients and their families would not be enough for my own. But I understand why that was and why that is needed no longer.
Despite facing these challenges, these past few years have also let me help some of the hardest cases I have faced in my life. It’s been a deep honor to be able to do this. But again, I no longer need to do this in this way.
In terms of what is measurable, I worked with the bio-resonance center again and was amazed at the dramatic changes that happened after a single sitting with the facilitator who came to help me. The scans were totally different. They were no longer critical, but still some significant areas of damage to work through. The before and after is unrecognizable. (My doctor at this point has learnt not to ask questions)
Over the past few weeks, the healing has been happening. My lungs are no longer on fire. We have not had any bizarre accidents or events. The babies sleep peacefully.
I can only offer my gratitude to those who came to help, who stood by me, and who made it possible for me to receive this help at such a critical moment. There have been a few facilitators who are more family than friend at this point – and they have stood by me and done their best, even if there was no resolution. Their love has been a deep inspiration for me to keep going with trust and an open heart.
I estimate another few months of deep healing and continual unlearning before I am ready for work, sessions, public videos and Tier-23. I am learning far more about myself, who I am, and what I am here to do – and how best I can do it. I have hope for the future and faith in the work that is going to follow. And I am deeply, deeply grateful.
This isn’t the kind of event a person usually has, certainly not at my age. But then again, it’s not been a very run of the mill kind of life either. But it honestly feels like things will be different from now.
I hope this answers some of the questions and provides greater context. I look forwards to seeing how the next chapter will unfold.
Life has been very strange and profoundly challenging for a few years now.
I found myself on a road I didn’t think I was going to take, and right now it seems like the destination is shifting again.
I began with astrology, branched out into non-binary spirituality and metaphysics, created (and dissolved, and re-built) communities on different platforms, and engaged thousands of people in ways that made them care about political and social causes in a way they had not done before.
I was going to keep doing all of that, but Life had other plans.
2 years ago, what we believe to be Long Covid struck me and my brother out of the blue.
I’ve been mostly silent about my health, but it has made even the simplest of everyday tasks very very time and energy consuming. And I can’t do it anymore without support. He’s in pretty bad shape as well.
I’ve spent a great amount of my personal energy in guiding as many people as possible through this website, my (former) FB pages, Youtube and (now) Instagram. The work speaks for itself.
If you have benefited from my existence in any way through all this time, I would like to ask you if you would be willing to help.
Right now I need time to rest. I was once able to do 8 sessions a day, and now I can barely manage 1 session in eight days. I used to be able to write 40,000 words in a night, and now I can barely manage 400. I used to travel around the world, and now traveling to the bathroom is a real challenge. As is walking, cooking, playing with my child, doing any of the normal things I used to do.
I have a family to support and no immediate social network in this country.
To further my spiritual pursuits, I deliberately chose not to focus on my work as a business and chose to give as much as I could freely.
Now, it’s my time of need. I hope I can count on each of you.
The best way to do this is to give me a little breathing space. I’ve been doing this almost non-stop since 2013, through hell and high water. And I need to rest.
Not having the pressure of constant financial burden would be a real blessing right now. As I can then just sit and focus on healing more fully. I estimate about 3-6 months of slow, gentle, rebuilding.
If you would like to help me in this way, please send your contributions here:
After much searching, I think it’s very likely that I have Long COVID. There are multiple issues in different bodily systems simultaneously that can’t be explained otherwise. There are a few other systemic explanations that could the case, but the usual suspects have been ruled out.
Much like the others suffering from the same, I have dizziness, headache, brainfog, extreme lethargy and in my case chronic inflammation and debilitating pain to touch.
It’s been bad for the past two years but it seems to be getting a lot worse right now. Especially in moving about and doing normal stuff. This is why the most exciting trip in my life has been going to do the laundry.
It has been terrifying reading about the stories of other active, international travellers in my age category who, like me, just stopped being able to move normally and got bedridden. Some of them even committed suicide as they lost the will to live.
Long COVID is horrific. Utterly horrific. And very poorly understood.
I’ve got the research that I need but medications and treatment here might not be as easy as the government has de-prioritized COVID related matters.
I can still push through, and have to, as the breadwinner of the family. Spiritual practice works wonders here but it is still utterly exhausting.
And the prices of stuff just keep going up here. I haven’t been able to cook in a long long time.
So it’s one of those very hard times for us.
But we’re doing our best. Bro is hit pretty hard too, harder in some ways.
Am resting from my advocacy efforts as well as the health aspect of things needs more attention right now.
I’m sure there’s an energetic component to all this as well. And I have a lot of things to try.
This article comes with a major trigger warning (genocide, sexual violence. etc.) Please ground yourself first before reading. This concerns the largest ongoing genocide on the planet at this time, the deliberate attempt to exterminate 7 million Tigrayans in Ethiopia through starvation, extra-judicial killing and rape.
I have been following this story since late 2020 in some capacity and have been moved to speak out as there is a further escalation of the horrific violence. I have also been asked and encouraged by Tigrayans to speak out and so take that as permission.
Please note that Ethiopia has had a history of ethnic conflict among its various groups. No one is truly innocent here unless they’re a civilian. My intention is to raise awareness of this genocide so that innocent lives can be spared.
However, the scale of what is being levied against Tigrayan people is unprecedented, as is the specific pattern of rape perpetuated upon Tigrayan Wombs with the intent to erase and end the Tigrayan bloodline.
So far, I have written to the International Committee of Experts and critiqued the omissions in the Joint Report prepared by the OHCHR/EHRC (UN Human Rights / Ethiopian Human Rights Commission). I have also been using my platforms on Instagram and Twitter to feature the voices of Tigrayan activists and current news. I find it impossible to do ‘ business as usual ‘.
As you know my ‘ brand’ if you can call it that has always been the combination of politics, spirituality, compassion and activism. So this is very much in line with what I have done publicly for the past 8 years.
For those interested in the details, please see my letter to the United Nations Office on the Prevention of Genocide. I will be sending slightly modified versions to other agencies that deal with humanitarian crisis of this nature.
It is very likely that many of you have no idea that 7 million people have been blocked off from food, medicine, aid – and the outside world for 500 days. Or that 120,000 women and girls have been brutally raped and their wombs burnt with genocidal intent. Or that half a million people have already died. I provide a quick summary here:
This video also talks about the spiritual impact of allowing these atrocities to continue.
I feature far more voices on my Twitter and instagram accounts – @theskypriestess . You are more than welcome to follow these as well.
I send you much Love
Dr. Bairavee Balasubramaniam PhD
The Sky Priestess
Many in Africa, Asia, and the Middle East support Ukraine, yet, there is a sense of deep discontent with the way their own local conflicts have lacked the coverage, global focus, and outpouring of support we have seen emerge over the past few days.
This is neither whataboutism nor a distraction from the war fought by a valiant people. My words are not intended to limit or dilute your support for Ukraine but to invite you to expand your compassion to include others who have been overlooked.
I am heavily referencing examples from the Ukrainian context as this has sparked a global outcry at the ‘ hypocrisy ‘ of Western nations.
To be clear – I stand in solidarity with Ukraine, its people, and its inspirational leadership. It is heartwarming to see so much love and support for this nation worldwide. I have also donated what I can to help with rescue and relief efforts.
However, as a scholar of politics and history and as a woman of non-European ancestry: my response is incomplete if I do not acknowledge the glaring double-standard that the world’s response to Ukraine has been.
Racism is, of course, alive and well in many parts of the world, but it is not the focus of this essay.
It provides the context for why non-European lives and conflicts appear to be valued less and explains why more significant effort and more humanistic reporting in these regions are critical.
To understand the disparity in reportage and the understandable anger that so many feel, all you have to do is to look at the way journalists have been covering their reports on Ukraine – and compare them.
Journalists are shocked, traumatized, and honestly surprised that this has happened ‘ in Europe’, with images of scared or hurt ‘ blond-haired and blue-eyed children’ seared into their memories .. that this is happening in a ‘ civilized ’ land, unlike Syria, Yemen, Afghanistan or somewhere in Africa.
These statements undoubtedly trigger deeply-held epigenetic memories of non-European peoples as their ancestors were told their land had to be subjugated because they lacked civilization, and their lives were worth less than their (allegedly) benevolent European rulers.
As a member of the British royal family put it, it is ‘ normal ‘ to see conflicts in places like Africa and Asia, but it is ‘ alien’ to see it in Europe. Coming back to the present, that is a powerful statement on how strategies of ‘ othering’ continue to pervade discourse.
And all of this is being said in shocked, sometimes visibly traumatized tones as journalists and other observers are simply unused to seeing trauma in non-black or brown bodies.
In other words, the presence of conflict and trauma in non-European countries has become normalized.
And the best way to make something invisible, or beyond question, or simply not worth engaging, is to consider it ‘ normal ‘.
In contrast, the shocked tones and traumatized delivery of news reports from Ukraine signals that something truly horrific, abnormal – that now requires unprecedented attention and action – has occurred.
How would that read to someone whose country is in a more severe crisis?
( And yes – whilst the crisis in the Ukraine requires immediate support and engagement, there are worse things happening on the planet going completely unreported )
In Ethiopia, 52,000 civilians were killed in the past five months, where starvation is being used as a weapon. Women are subjected to mass rape, yet there is no outcry. Not even a sliver of acknowledgement – this is just one of many examples.
Just as it is critical to ensure a unified global response to Ukraine’s war, it is equally important to recognize the discontent created through the erasure of so much (othered) human pain.
People respond to what they see through the media. The way the news is delivered shapes public response.
When journalists cannot contain their own shock and trauma, they impart an additional layer of meaning. They are certainly not neutral actors in the generation of public opinion.
Non-European journalists have responded, stating that they have not been allowed to cover local stories as media houses for fears they would not be able to be ‘ objective’. However, that standard has not been applied to Ukraine’s coverage.
This is a great thing for Ukrainians.
However, I hope it is also a wake-up call for mainstream media channels and journalists to do the same in other conflicts.
When they signal ‘ normalcy’ even when reporting on a mass violation, people ignore it as there is no emotional engagement; therefore, there is no need to respond or act.
From Ukraine, we see powerfully engaging images and videos that show the courage, resilience, emotion, humor, and creativity of a people under siege. This is an absolutely valid depiction and one that should become common elsewhere as well.
A little girl singing ‘ Let It Go’ from her underground sanctuary has gone viral. Photos of men and women carrying their pets across the border or to shelters move the viewer to want to help such a compassionate nation because they can see them and empathize with them as fellow humans – who are able to be kind even when fighting for their lives.
This is a profound testament to the humanity of Ukrainians.
However, if one is willing to look, we will also see this humanity amongst the many whose stories have not been afforded the same humanity, compassion, and empathetic engagement.
Such humanistic reportage needs to become the norm rather than the aberration. Not just for Europe, but the rest of the world.
Instead, in Africa, Asia & the Middle East, we are exclusively shown images of children starving and covered in flies, people in states of absolute poverty and hardship, over and over again.
The subject is erased and becomes an object in need of perpetual rescue.
By forcing coverage to ignore the human factor in the name of staying ‘ objective’, the stories of people suffering in Africa, Asia, and the Middle East are erased, blurred into one brown-black mass.
All that inspires is compassion fatigue and denial.
The kind of global response we see now towards Ukraine will be far more likely to emerge in other contexts if we change the terms of reporting and engagement.
There are so many stories of heroism, courage, kindness, and humanity in the face of desperation from Ethiopia, Syria, Afghanistan, Yemen, Israel & Palestine – that have simply not been told.
Let us break the culture of rendering black/brown trauma invisible by acknowledging the stories of hero(ines), survivors, leaders, carers, and families with empathy, humanity, dignity, and compassion.
Dr. B. Bairavee
The first is the role of the Triple Warmer/Burner/San Jiao Meridian in maintaining psychic health. There is a lot that gets energetically congested in the interstitium and fascia, parts of the connective tissue system that link the entire body and play an important role in the lymphatic system.
It’s nothing that muscle therapists have not known for decades, but has only just received recognition within more mainstream medical circles.
Therapies that acknowledge these systems and their role in health include TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine), myofascial therapy, tapping (and many others). TW / TB / SJ 3 – Zhongzhu is a key point I recommend for all those who utilize spiritual and psychic gifts as part of their work, and for hypersensitive people in general.
It is an excellent point to drain Wind and Heat excess in the Wood (Liver/Gallbladder meridians). Steve Woodley is a good resource on this, as is five element acupuncture.
Look it up online to find the exact location – and I do demonstrate where this is in the video. Don’t use a needle unless you are trained acupuncturist. A light touch for a minute at most, once or twice a day should do it.
The rest of the discussion followed the flow of questions from the community.
People are experiencing overwhelm at the sheer weight of the psychic field in the collective.
The point above should help manage that at the individual level.
I talk about some examples of people who have faced horrors in their life and how they inspire others to find beauty and dignity in life. One person who does this is @theredheadofauschwitz (on TikTok and Instagram).
When you see someone who has survived the horrors of Auschwitz retaining their inner beauty, grace, humor and dignity – it is proof that a person can find purpose, meaning and life – even in such troubled times.
There is no real point in giving into defeatist attitudes or doomsday predictions. That creates no real change except to add to even more psychic burden.
Be strategic. Be focused. Be disciplined.
Invest your time in projects that make a difference to yourself & others, be it a community lending library, free childcare for parents who can’t afford it, a community garden, and so on. Manage your energy by taking on what you can and be focused in the change you want to make.
Even if you think it’s a ‘ little’ change, these little changes happening everywhere at once create a mighty ripple effect.
Believe in your ability to do something, even if you think it’s nothing at all in the grand scheme of things.
Developing this mindset is a key part of spiritual discipline.
Anything else just leaves you over-saturated with energy that you have no means of doing anything about.
The simple answer to what to do in these times: Is to do what you can.
** please check in with yourself if you are ready for a session with me before booking – this step will save you valuable time **
We are all searching for healing, awareness, connection, and wholeness. Some would add love, community, and abundance to that list. But as we do so, sometimes we find ourselves in relationships where healing comes at the cost of the person helping another.
When we find facilitators and therapists who can help us heal, we value their professional services by providing funds, donations, or whatever is appropriate. However, when we find people in our lives who (knowingly or not) play similar roles, it is very likely to result in a damaging form of excessive reliance, pedestalization, and dehumanization of the person seen as ‘ strong’ or ‘ able to help’.
To love or be friends with someone you consider a nurturer, healer, facilitator, etc., you have to be careful not to take them for granted. It takes a lot of honesty to ask yourself whether you want to be with or around someone because you like the free therapy or service you are getting or whether you actually like them as a person.
If I had known this 30 years ago – my life would have been very different. It has taken me decades to understand that many people drawn to me have wanted the facilitator’s energy rather than the actual, everyday, human person with desires, needs, and personal views. And they honestly may not be able to differentiate between the two.
Human interactions with a substantial gap in perceived levels of power, competence, authority, expertise, and wisdom can be very tricky. Such interactions tend to become an entirely one-way street as the ‘ strong’ person gets used and turned into the other’s emotional dumping ground or parental projection screen.
Bear in mind that evaluations of ‘ strong’ or ‘ weak’ are entirely subjective as no one is 100% strong or weak all of the time. I’m primarily using these categories for heuristic purposes.
Some do use perceived differences in strength to encourage patterns of dependency so that they continue to feel superior or needed or indispensable. And sometimes, the person who prefers to be seen as ‘ weak’ uses covert manipulation tactics to control, gaslight, and project on the person they want help from.
Often these projections involve calling the ‘stronger’ person as controlling, bullying, or resenting them for developing what they have and guilt-tripping them to serve the other slavishly.
So it’s not that straightforward.
There is true strength in vulnerability and true tenderness in the heart of one who holds strength for another in healthy ways. These categories are not mutually exclusive.
Ultimately, strength and resiliency are things we each need to aspire to. What that looks like for each person is going to be different.
Many are conditioned into believing that they lack inner strength or are inadequate – and they then turn to others they perceive as having what they lack. Some unknowingly end up in a pattern of covert manipulation and parasitism.
Others justify it through a sense of false egoic entitlement or by convincing themselves of false narratives about the other.
The fact that one person is hurt does not give them the right, entitlement, or privilege to hurt or abuse another – even in the name of healing – even they think the other person ‘ can take it ‘ or that they don’t feel.
I’ve come across this many times in my life – even in childhood. I was always expected to be stronger, kinder, and more understanding than others.
I recall a time at school (maybe 10 or 11) when a teacher tried to blame me for defending myself against a bully. The bully kept following me up the stairwell, saying nasty things, and I refused to engage in the same way.
I said the word ‘ Likewise’ each time she said something and kept heading to class. When I didn’t break as she wanted me to, she broke down.
The teacher treated her as the victim as I wasn’t crying, and I was blamed for making her cry. In retrospect, my refusal to be her emotional dumping ground and abuse site probably forced her to see herself. I was just fed up one day and did not yield.
But did that mean that I was not hurt? Did that mean that I did not deserve fair consideration? Was I doing something terrible for refusing to accept abuse?
Think about it.
Just because some people externalize their vulnerability or trauma more than others does not mean that they are automatically in the right. Some people strategically use displays or expressions of trauma as a shield to justify ill-actions towards another or avert accountability.
For those new to the concept, I suggest looking up the term ‘ vulnerable narcissism’.
One day, I was trying to explain this to my Libran brother as I kept seeing people who were drawn to me because they wanted the nurture I could provide. But when I spoke up for myself or established a boundary, they would turn instantly – and sometimes savagely.
The best I could come up with was ‘ being a mountain’.
(Suprise, Surprise, for a Capricorn Sun)
And I don’t mean that in a holier than thou sense. Working with the mountain archetype is a lot of responsibility if you actually care about people.
It takes real work, awareness, and daily practice to carry a large field in this world with compassion. And to realize that not everyone can or would want to live near a much larger field than their own that challenges their perceived ego-image. And to also not let it get to your head in an egoic way.
To be a mountain is also to realize that someday, it will be ground back to the ocean.
There’s always something bigger even if, at that moment, the mountain appears to be the most prominent thing above the surface. Water will eventually cut through stone. It’s just a thing, a particular way of being that some people naturally resonate with.
Some people are mountains, others are pastures, others are rivers, others are oceans, others are planets, others are pebbles – and it’s all okay. They each have a place and intrinsic merit, and all are equally worthy of existence.
Due to internalized hierarchies and paternal attitudes, people tend to latch onto the single narrative of the lone mountain that creates an ecosystem and sustains life around it. It stands tall above the rest and shares the rarified air at its peak with the few who dare to scale its face.
This analogy is also used in religious and spiritual teachings, but not in ways I necessarily agree with.
Some people who resonate with the archetype prefer solitude and enjoy their own company most of all. Others engage in a limited capacity to help where possible. And some do exploit the natural pull or draw felt by someone who sees themselves as needing nurture when encountering someone they think’ has got it all together ‘.
But it is essential to understand that power naturally attracts energy. It comes down to your personal integrity, values, and compassion to live with it in a fair, just, and harmonious way with others without sacrificing yourself or anyone else.
Let’s get back to the mountain analogy.
Mountains are rarely, if ever, alone – even if people think the opposite of them.
They exist as part of a range or with an ecosystem that evolves around them. Whilst that can be healing and harmonious in nature, it becomes a lot trickier in human interactions.
Because if that mountain rumbles even in the slightest way, that ecosystem is going to feel it hard. We are okay with this disruption in Mother Nature, but to expect a human to play the same role is unacceptable for so many reasons.
The human-mountain ends up having to quieten or dehumanize themselves to become the desired’ function ‘ or be deemed nice, acceptable, or okay to hang out with.
Or they end up as the tyrant whose whims and fantasies twist and turn the reality of those who pedestalize and obey them.
Or they just run because they don’t want to be projected on, misunderstood, and ultimately instrumentalized.
The strength of the mountain is what people see, but they forget that it was formed through years of geological pressure, seismic activity, environmental changes, and physical trauma. It’s easy to look at a mountain and marvel at its strength, but it’s harder to recognize the process and the journey it has come through.
The same applies to people who get projected on similarly. Their narrative, identity, humanity, and journey are erased to benefit another person having an experience at that time and moment.
How is that kind, or just? What kind of healing process does that erasure support?
Psychologists have long recognized this as the dynamic of transference as that erasure of self, or at the very least, professional detachment is part and parcel of their clinical discipline. As they’re still human, psychologists can also find themselves in states of countertransference (the other way around, in response to a patient’s transferred emotions and projections).
And it’s not always easy to maintain that detachment to do the job, even for professionals. They would not be able to do that effectively for people they see daily, be it their spouse or child, without disrupting the familial relationship.
Expecting a friend, partner, or relative to primarily play that role for another’s person’s benefit – is disruptive to interpersonal harmony and goodwill.
Whilst not to the same degree as a psychologist (in principle), every healer or facilitator will have some degree of detachment when working with clients professionally. It’s just not meant to be cut-and-paste into other kinds of relationships.
Sometimes people in vulnerable spaces end up justifying their sense of entitlement towards someone’s energy because they have made up their own story about them. They’re ‘ strong’ because they didn’t have challenges or struggles, had good parents, or had money, and therefore, they can and should play that role.
That’s a load of poppycock.
People talk about being supportive and holding space, but they don’t talk about the emotional and psychic cost of listening or witnessing. Or the muted pain of erasure.
Being ‘ strong’ doesn’t mean that you don’t hurt or that you don’t feel intense pain.
I feel so much of it when I work with clients moving through extreme trauma in their lives. Some of their stories remain with me for years afterwards. But that is part of the role, and yes, it needs to be said as such.
It’s not that ‘ strong’ people can ‘ handle it ‘; it’s just that those who are comfortable depending upon them choose to believe that.
In short: The mountain has feelings.
Indigenous cultures recognized this and declared the mountain sacred, or the elder or healer as valued and supported them in different ways – or gave them space to be.
They recognized that by being, experience, or attainment, some natural features of the world and some people occupied larger energetic fields than others, which is why the priest’s or priestess’ hut or shrine was often kept at the village’s border.
This is why, no matter how near cultures would build their villages on the top of a mountain, they left the very pinnacle as a sacred space not to be accessed or touched.
Those recognitions do not exist in contemporary society, and it is problematic to pedestalize anyone in the same way.
It’s not sustainable for the person expected to ‘ be the mountain’ and not healthy for the person dependent upon them in an extreme way. Whilst it’s good to help where you can, know that drawing limits is necessary.
Naturally, there are other aspects to this discussion, but I hope it opens the door to a conversation that may be useful. Each person has an inner equilibrium and by no means is this conversation (or any other that I have) meant to be a one-size-fits-all solution.
A lot has happened in the past few years, and the path I find myself on has dramatically changed. So many of you were drawn to this space because of the sharing of hundreds of posts, with original research information and hours and hours of work.
I am grateful that the information shared has helped so many over the years. It’s certainly been a process.
In response to a recent query from one follower (and I use that term only to mean that you’re viewing the contents of this site), I felt the need to clarify what this space now means to me and where you can find the different kinds of information I now provide, within more sustainable limits.
Since my departure from Facebook, I have started growing a new community housed on Youtube. It was an important point for me to put my spiritual and political ideals into practice and to create a space that did not enable spiritual bypassing or denial in the face of injustice and discrimination. Facebook is a fantastic echo chamber – and as the years passed I found people hearing what they wanted to hear, rather than what was being said. It does have its own energy.
The community space that has now emerged is one that is far more conscious, welcoming to people of all races, genders (and yes, there’s a lovely sub-group of queer folk from all walks of the LBGTQIA umbrella), ages, and walks of life. I started the ‘ Hello, Neighbour’ series (inspired by the works of Reverend Fred Rogers and his ‘ Mister Rogers’ Neighbourhood ‘TV series). It’s evolved into a deeply humbling, inspiring and meaningful community-building exercise and am very happy to say that there’s a good vibe in the air from it all.
I have found the creation of that space to be an intrinsically valuable act for myself, and apparently, from others who have felt a greater need of connection during the isolation brought about through COVID.
The key principle is true inclusivity and the willingness to live a spiritual path from the truth of the heart. And that is not possible, in my view, without an examination of systemic inequalities, privilege, and a deconstruction of mental categories strongly related to footprint of colonialism, patriarchy and essentialized view on the gender binary.
Whilst we do talk astrology there, the focus of my work as a whole has shifted towards inspiring, nurturing and building more goodwill and community. It’s hard to have that kind of engagement in this space – which is far more static, so I would encourage you all to check out the Youtube channel if you have not done so already. There’s also a small following on Instagram where I am starting to also share my art and musical compositions.
Again, these are not new directions in my work. You can look at –
There’s also the introduction to my workshop in Tempe, Arizona: Beyond Construct & Into The Void – Transcending our Concept of Feminine Experience
As you can see, my path was never about astrology for its own sake.
What I am being more drawn to now is helping people see where astrology can be useful, where it can blind you, what it can & can’t teach you – and how this can make you a more fulfilled person in this very, very, complex world that demands from a a mixture of compassion, kindness and integrity. (Also the ability to say no to the BS and to be willing to speak the truth, even if it challenges your/another’s comfort)
That often requires a re-examination of the values, ideas and tools that a person has used to make sense of themselves – and the world. I can tell you that astrology, or any human path of inquiry is subject to co-optation if a person is not careful. It is that willingness to learn, and un-learn so to find some sense of decency, honor, love and solidarity with the planet that informs so much of the work that I am drawn to at this time.
For those of you are interested in the more hard-core astrological interpretations of the skies, I have created a premium membership program called Tier-23 which gives you anywhere between 20-40, 000 words of content per month, expressed in 2-3 hours of video discussion. There’s also a monthly meditation where my direct spiritual facilitations take place.
It takes real time, energy, work, dedication and devotion to create and hold the energy of that space. And it has created its own very focused and potent membership.
I am hoping to introduce a smaller version of this called Tier-5 this year for those who do not have the time or resources to invest in a larger and more intensive body of work.
As sustainability is a core principle of the work I am generating now, it does not seem just to continue engaging with the public the way I did before. That, and health reasons which have made me need to be far more careful with my time and energy.
I hope that decision can be respected. It would be wonderful if those of you who have benefited from my work for years will choose to support me in a tangible, material sense if able and called to do so.
In any case, you are more than welcome as part of the community on Youtube 🙂
I have chosen to share the video up above to accompany this write-up as it signifies my current relationship with astrology. As I have written in numerous previous articles such as ‘ The Limits of Astrology ‘ (2015) over the years, it is not a new move at all. Just more public.
For those who do want the intense, in-depth treatment of astrological bodies, again, you are welcome to join the Tier-23 program or to book a personal session where these can be discussed as they pertain to your chart – the ‘ Discovery Session’ would be most suitable for this..
I take the spiritual energy behind the way astrology is communicated and taught very seriously these days which is why I have opted not to provide the same kind of content that I did before to the general public.
It is a sacred form in its own right, and honestly, it does require a fair bit of spiritual discipline and self-insight for someone to benefit from it, rather than be bound by it.
I have been sharing this information and gradual shift in perspective on my Youtube Lives, but had not yet put it in writing within this space. Hence, this post.
There is now also a newsletter where I email people maybe once a month (or every few months) if there’s something major going on – and of course you are more than welcome to join it – but it’s going to be what you still find in this space. Just the most important pieces of information and notifications on special promotions and offers.
If this is farewell, no worries and best wishes.
Otherwise, I’ll see you about – perhaps on a live, or in the Tier-23 program, or a session.
As the author of this work, I do not accept any liability arising from any and all potential effects from issuing or reading this work in any way. Anything communicated here is not intended to replace professional legal, medical, psychological, psychiatric, or financial counsel.
How you choose to act on this information is up to your own free will, and you agree to be responsible for whatever consequences arise from your actions. Use your common sense first. I will assert my legal right over my work should these clauses be violated in any way for any reason. Always use common sense first and reach out if in doubt.